Day 5, 8:00 - 9:00 AM

We start off with a recap (even though the show just ended 5 minutes ago) and it points out that I forgot to mention that Audrey is back! I don't know if that's good or bad though.

Anyway, Edgar comes running in with some important information.

EDGAR: We've identified the Palmer shooter!

BILL: Who is it?

EDGAR: You should see for yourself!

(That is another part of the 24 Death Count Drinking Game. Anytime someone makes someone else 'see for themselves' when they could save valuable minutes by just saying the name, please take a shot.)

So Edgar spends about three seconds explaining high res filters and all other sorts of non existent techno-bullshit. We then wait about 7 minutes while it processes. Then we see the face of our killer:


I KNEW IT!

The President doesn't care though, and won't delay the summit. He doesn't want the Russians to realize he's a pussy!

So we go to some mysterious looking man who seems to enjoy hanging out in KCBS's Master Control. He's getting updates from some guy who seems to ask all the right questions to help fill in the holes. We soon learn from MysteryMan that they launch within the hour. That's good, since there is less than an hour left in the episode!

So Jack, Chloe and New Kim drive down to the scene of Palmer's murder, even though he is the most wanted suspect. While there we find this:

Some how this over-dressed photog is able to perform a live shot, mast down (um, downtown LA, mast down? I think not!) and no cables. Come on people, realism!

Speaking of realism, Jack manages to walk right into the crime scene after bitch-slapping a FBI agent who apparently didn't know who Jack was. (In all fairness, Jack was wearing sunglasses...)

Jack heads up to David's penthouse where he greets Wayne.

Wayne: You son of a bitch, you killed my lover! Errr, I mean Brother!

Jack: He was my lover too! Why would I kill him?

Faced with Jack's impeccable logic, Wayne had no choice to be best friends with Jack again!


Wayne helps Jack dig through some files to find Palmer's real killer. They find the name of a guy at an airport in Palmer's files. He's Russian! Is it fore-shadowing? I'll never tell!

Back at CTU, Edgar finds out that Chloe is logged in on an external socket! She's alive! Edgar almost explodes with excitement. But why is she at Palmer's apartment building? Things seem shady and there is only one explanation. Jack's forcing her!

Now, despite 10239210392014787327498178472987398217398 agents after him, Jack still manages to get away. Chloe drives the van right at the police. Of course having read my advise on driving right at people with guns, she escapes.

But only for a little bit. She then stops and the police arrest her. But Jack isn't in the van! Neither is New Kim! They escaped via a different route, steal a car, and head to the airport to see a man about a horse. Just kidding, it's to meet the Russian dude who was in Palmer's files.

Meanwhile, the MysteryMan calls some Russian guys to make sure that everything is on schedule. The Russian guys are running late, which makes MysteryMan mad, but he forgives them. He then orders them to go dark, and he will talk to them after the attack! Could the summit be the target?

In a side note, the Crazy First Lady tries to convince Logan that Palmer called her to warn her about something. But the audio recording says otherwise! She is crazy! Maybe...

Regardless of the Crazy First Lady's warning, Novack's warning, Walt's warning (whatever Walt's job is), Logan will not let people know exactly how much of a pussy he is and demands the summit go on as scheduled...

Everyone watches with baited breath as the Russian President comes in via Marine One. Will it explode? Will it?!?!?!?!

No.

Jack arrives at the airport and gives New Kim back to New Kim's mom. Jack doesn't have time to explain, though and runs off. New Kim sees some bad people though, and rather than do the sensible thing and call 911, he runs in to tell Jack in person.

Just like Kim would have done.

Jack, meanwhile, has located the Russian guy and roughs him up. But there is a loud noise and Jack turns around, just long enough for the Russian guy to off himself via an icky pill.

What was the noise though? It seems the Russian's who were talking with MysteryMan weren't going to attack the summit, but the Ontario Airport (which Jack got to from downtown LA within a half an hour at 8:30 in the morning - Jack's the greatest!). Of course New Kim is now one of the hostages! Just like Kim would have done!

As the clock counts down, Jack sees people running down the hallways with Russian's carrying AK-47's (a very stereotypical weapon for Russian terrorists. It doesn't seem very fair to do that. Why can't they have bazookas or something?) right behind them and realizes something is amiss; and he is the only help that these people have.

Either that or he realizes that he needs to go pee...

We ain't done yet, beyaches! As if this episode couldn't get anymore suspenseful, MysteryMan gets another phone call... And it's from Walt! OMFG!!!!!!!! WALT'S A MOLE!!!!! The terrorists have once again managed to plant a mole in a high ranking position! Who ever does the background checks for the government needs to be let go!

OH THE SUSPENSE!!!