Saturday, January 28, 2006Last Chance!
Since I have not embarrassed myself enough on my blog, and since I obviously want to ruin any chance I have of ever running for future political office, I have decided to post the movie that we (myself, Jason Devall, Brian Tremain, Chris Gosnell, Andy Davis and others) did in high school. To be more precise, the Capital Area Vocational Center.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Last Chance.
Last Chance is a story about an underground, post apocalyptic world that is full of violence, murder and intrigue. Our hero, Elmo Rise (played by the ever talented Jason Devall) is the president of the Allied Delivery Service - also known as the head mailman. He ends up being framed by his rival, Big Bubba Bob!
Elmo is put in jail, so he has to escape to clear his name! In the meantime, his love interest, Gaffy Laser (yes, they all sound like porno names. Get over it...) is kidnapped by Rick Dogg, one of Bubba's henchmen!
With the help of his best friend, Anderson Jefferson (played by the possibly queer Erin Winking), Elmo must clear his name and rescue Gaffy before she's killed, or at least rolled into a closet or something... I don't fucking know.
Last Chance started as a cartoon. We (myself, Chris and Jason) did a cartoon in our first year - Attack of the Killer Numbers 4 - which was successful to people like us who set the bar of success real, real, real, real, real low. It was called Elmo, the Disgruntled Mailman.
A note, this was back when postal workers going, well... postal, was in, and being the insensitive assholes that we are, we wanted to make a dark comedy out of it!
Anyway, the script to Elmo was 100% rejected by our teacher, Mr. Jim Grimes. He handed my script over to Jason for retooling.
A few weeks later Jason came back with Last Chance. I protested, till I realized that I didn't care, as long as I didn't have to do any real learning. Several months later and a few re-edits later, here is what we came up with.
Now, some disclaimers... First, don't watch this unless you have 22 minutes of your life that you don't need. There are no refunds. You go into this in full knowledge that you will never get these wasted minutes back.
Second, I apologize for the video quality. First, it's a VHS copy that's been sitting in the 'Closest of Mystery' for a year, and even longer in my basement back in Illinois. You then have to take into account that the actual movie was shot on 3/4 inch tape, on cameras that a PUBLIC school had to be able to afford.
Third, it's what I call an 'inadvertent comedy'. I am pretty sure it was supposed to be a drama, with maybe some comedy in it. But the damn thing is just so bad that it makes me laugh all the way through.
Or maybe I'm crying, as I look sooooooooooo gay... And not the good kind of Will & Grace gay... More like Big Gay Al from South Park gay...
Well, you've been warned. Video will pop up in new window. LAST CHANCE; THE MOVIE
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Last Chance. Last Chance is a story about an underground, post apocalyptic world that is full of violence, murder and intrigue. Our hero, Elmo Rise (played by the ever talented Jason Devall) is the president of the Allied Delivery Service - also known as the head mailman. He ends up being framed by his rival, Big Bubba Bob!
Elmo is put in jail, so he has to escape to clear his name! In the meantime, his love interest, Gaffy Laser (yes, they all sound like porno names. Get over it...) is kidnapped by Rick Dogg, one of Bubba's henchmen!
With the help of his best friend, Anderson Jefferson (played by the possibly queer Erin Winking), Elmo must clear his name and rescue Gaffy before she's killed, or at least rolled into a closet or something... I don't fucking know.Last Chance started as a cartoon. We (myself, Chris and Jason) did a cartoon in our first year - Attack of the Killer Numbers 4 - which was successful to people like us who set the bar of success real, real, real, real, real low. It was called Elmo, the Disgruntled Mailman.
A note, this was back when postal workers going, well... postal, was in, and being the insensitive assholes that we are, we wanted to make a dark comedy out of it!
Anyway, the script to Elmo was 100% rejected by our teacher, Mr. Jim Grimes. He handed my script over to Jason for retooling.
A few weeks later Jason came back with Last Chance. I protested, till I realized that I didn't care, as long as I didn't have to do any real learning. Several months later and a few re-edits later, here is what we came up with.
Now, some disclaimers... First, don't watch this unless you have 22 minutes of your life that you don't need. There are no refunds. You go into this in full knowledge that you will never get these wasted minutes back.
Second, I apologize for the video quality. First, it's a VHS copy that's been sitting in the 'Closest of Mystery' for a year, and even longer in my basement back in Illinois. You then have to take into account that the actual movie was shot on 3/4 inch tape, on cameras that a PUBLIC school had to be able to afford.
Third, it's what I call an 'inadvertent comedy'. I am pretty sure it was supposed to be a drama, with maybe some comedy in it. But the damn thing is just so bad that it makes me laugh all the way through.
Or maybe I'm crying, as I look sooooooooooo gay... And not the good kind of Will & Grace gay... More like Big Gay Al from South Park gay...
Well, you've been warned. Video will pop up in new window. LAST CHANCE; THE MOVIE
posted by ewink at 12:03 AM
ewink's FUNKDAFIED Ranma 1/2 Site
1 Comments:
It's so bad....so awful...eleven years and it just doesn't hold up...oh wait, it NEVER held up...I feel like raming my skull with a plunger while dancing the hokey-pokey...
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