Time In Illinois :: Day Five

My very good friend Rob (RIP Rob...) gave me some advice when I was in high school. It went along the lines of 'Never be anyone but yourself. Don't let anyone make you someone else. You are you; don't try to be someone else. If someone is trying to make you someone else, they are not helping you, but hurting you.'

I wish more people would follow that advice.

I'm really ticked off. Wednesday I was supposed to drive to Mattoon to see my good friend, Chris. But, thanks to my big mouth (apparently) I upset his keeper. To alleviate the drama in his life (and to make sure that I returned to Vegas with enough money to pay the bills) I've decided not to go.

It makes me upset. I really love that guy (he was like a brother to me, seeing as my real brother stole from me and ruined our relationship). Chris was my best friend. I would have done ANYTHING for him, including but not limited to killing people! We had our issues, mostly because of my irresponsibility from when I was living in Minnesota and drinking too much, but I was quickly out growing that. Things (our relationship) changed when he got married though. His wife was so afraid that I would try and bust up their marriage (which, to be honest IMHO wouldn't be a bad thing - but I digress) that she wouldn't allow him to talk to me or Jason.

I thought things were straight. She and Jason had made peace. She and I talked about the past, and I thought I had made it clear that I have no intention of doing anything like that. I thought that it was obvious that I only wanted to have my friend back, but apparently I was wrong.

Over reaction to my previous post caused drama. I'm not in the process of making peoples lives any more difficult than they are, so I will not get involved in their lives. If someday Chris wants to talk with me and be my friend again, he knows my number. Until then, I'm not involved and I don't want to be involved, and I for certain don't want to discuss this any more.

And yes, I did think about what I am saying, but I am saying it anyway. The truth can be a real bitch sometimes.

Regardless, I went back out to my Mom's early for steaks and quietly sulked to myself while watching movies. Saw 'War of the Worlds' which was okay, but didn't have as much war in it as I think a movie with 'war' in the title should. Also watched the movie 'Sahara', which was interesting. Penelope Cruz is really goddamned hot.

Nothing else happened. There won't be any more movies as my laptop keeps crashing under the weight of Sony Vegas. It doesn't have the memory needed to be an editor. I've got the last one shot, so maybe I will edit it when I get home.

I have one more full day here, and I am hoping to enjoy it. Under the shadow of the issues from today, I don't know. But I will do my best, as I don't want to leave Springfield with a sour taste in my mouth.

E.