I Never Could Follow Through...

Ladies and gentlemen, OtakuPhotog (OP) has returned.

I have various reasons for this, some of which I will go into here.

I guess the main issue is the fact that I miss writing my blog. There have been so many times when I have finished the day and said to myself; 'Damn, that would have made a good blog story!' There is just so much weird stuff that happens that it seems like a disservice to people not to write about it.

Secondly, I got complaints. Complaints from other photogs, complaints from my friends back home... I had no idea so many people (I use the term 'many people' loosely as since I don't really know a whole lot of people, six is many) actually found my triads and discombobulated sentences interesting. Apparently they did. I know that my halting probably nixed a ton of my readers, but I hope to get them back by blogging often and goodly.

Yes, I make up words.

Thirdly, I realize by quitting the blog I allowed my own personal demons to win. I've allowed the issues inside of me to take control of my life far to often. My lack of self confidence keeps me from developing any relationships; my fear of failure keeps me from following through on things that could make my life better...

Well this is one thing that I am not going to let myself take away from, uh, myself.

The blog helped me with my writing. From the time I started the blog through now I have seen an increase of quality in my musings on here. My fiction writing has also improved. I think of the blog as 'personal development' with free feedback from the likes of Lenslinger and Mighty Dyckerson.

I expect a FedEx of poo from Stew now for referring to him in the same sentence as the Mighty One!

Anyway, what about what I said in my last posting?

I cannot have work taking it personally every time that I have a bad day. And regardless of what anyone says, they are going to happen. But like I said in my last post, I can't just write about the good days or the uneventful days. For this to truly be a blog about my job and my life, everything has to be included.

What about that? What's to say the same thing that forced me to halt my blogging before won't happen again?

I've really tried to change the way I think about my job. If you read my MySpace stuff you know that I went through a really quick health scare. My blood pressure was through the roof and I was having some pretty bad chest pains.

The pains seemed to just be a strained chest muscle, but the problem with my blood pressure was real. So I cut back on my caffeine, kept up my non-smoking (even though that right now I am in a temporary relapse), began to eat better and most importantly, I stopped worrying about shit so much.

I try really hard not to let the stressful stuff at work get to me now. I just stopped and took a look at things and realized, the job isn't that important.

I've had some opportunities to get stressed out again. I was sent in the sat truck to Hoover Dam when the highway was closed. It's about a 45 minute drive and we left 35 minutes before our hit (not my fault). Before I would have freaked out, bottomed out the accelerator on the DSNG truck and stressed out trying to make slot.

Instead I just took my time and relaxed. I knew we weren't going to make the slot, so why the hell should I get all worked up about it?

The way I look at it now is, if I am not going to get somewhere on time, or if I am going to miss an interview, why fret over it? I can either miss it and not be stressed out or I can miss it by just a little less and kill myself at 32.

People complaining to me about stuff is brushed off with gentle good humor. Personally, to anyone who has any issues with the way I do my job I say 'sod off.' I've been doing it for over a year and a half, so I must be doing something right otherwise they would have canned me (or worse, moved me to dayside). I'm not saying I don't accept constructive criticism, but there is a difference in that and bitching because I wasn't in a live truck this week; even though I was in one the previous 20 weeks and no one seemed to notice.

To Ron and Matt if you read this... I am not going to purposely do anything to cast a dark light on KLAS. But you have to understand, I am not anonymous and this blog is about working in news. News can, quite frankly, be a bitch. You guys have been doing it far longer than I have, so I am sure you understand. I also understand what I did and I assure you that I will no longer post something like 'Two Hours, Eh?' I'm not saying that I won't post about bad days. I will just make the posts a bit more constructive and not so vindictive sounding.

Anyway, the adventure begins again. To close my first post of the new era of OP, let me tell you a funny antidote.

Tony, the photog from Channel 3 calls me and lets me know that he wants to show me a remote controlled car. I had a shoot I promised one of the anchors I would come and shoot for him at Krave, an 'alternative' night club on The Strip. (Alternative is code for 'gay', by the way.)

Anyway, when I was done I called him and said 'Okay, where can we meet so I can see your toy?'

I then realized that I just walked out of a gay bar and asked another man to see his toy.

Good night! I'll be here all week!


A Utah Sunrise