Calling The Station Checklist...

To help people who call television stations to complain about various things or that have story ideas, please familiarize yourself with the following in order to expedite the resolution of your grievance/idea/suggestion:

• Make sure what you are calling about actually aired on the station you are calling. If you want to know about something that aired on Contact 13, and you call Channel 8, you're not going to get anywhere fast.


• On a related note, just because we call come out of the same TV set does not mean we all come from the same building.


• Please know what the hell you are talking about before you call.


• Do not call with something generic like 'I'm want to know information about that story you did about the doctor, yesterday, in the news.' We had about 8 hours worth of news yesterday. I need something more specific in order to find it.


• I cannot give you a copy of the script. Sorry. You're going to have to order the story from the recording service. I'll give you all the info in the script, but I will not print you a copy. Not because I don't want to, but because I am pretty sure I can't.


• On a related note, no, you may not get a copy of our raw tape.


• Commercials are not news. Do not call the newsroom to ask about a commercial. We don't have a clue. (Call M-F 9-5 and ask for traffic. Not Skywitness Traffic, just traffic.)


• The schmuck answering the phone, 99.99999% of the time, had absolutely nothing to do with the story you are calling to complain about. Please save your hate filled rant for the person who does.


• Do not call and ask to talk to a reporter at 2AM.


• If you do, I reserve the right to forward you to a random reporters voice mail. If you call back, I'll just do it again.


• I am sorry your dog/cat/car is missing/stolen, but no, we will not put in on the news. Do you have any clue how many dogs/cats/cars go missing/stolen every day in this city? It's a lot!


• Similarly, we only do missing person stories when the cops ask us to. We don't know what your interest in the missing kid/person is, and we will not help a stalker find his prey. Ask the police to call us. They will be happy to.


• Three police cars do not qualify as 'a ton of cops.'


• Shots fired /= a shooting.


• Burglary /= Robbery.


• Losing all your money at a casino /= theft.


• If no one died, no kids or seniors are involved and it's not part of a greater story, we did not cover it, nor will we. (This is subject to change based on the moon's orbit and the distance to sweeps.)


• Managers don't work weekends. There is a reason they become managers, and it's not to hang around the station on a Saturday evening.


• If the power is out, call the power company and then call the news. They can probably tell you more than we can, considering we ask the same people.


• We don't cover suicides. That's why you didn't see anything about it.


• 99.9999999% of the stuff that is not local was not covered by us. Please take your complaint to the network.


• I do not know Katie Couric's phone number.


• I will not give you the phone number to another station.


• 411 is 4 digits easier to dial than the newsroom, will get you the number faster and will not get you on my shitlist.


• tvguide.com knows more about our stations lineup then I do. Check it first.


• I will try and help you out as much as you can, but just because I work for a TV station does not mean that I know everything and that I can answer any question for you instantly. Most of the time I use Google. You should try it too!


• I call and confirm news tips with the police before I go to a scene. Don't bother prank calling me. I have caller ID.


• If you call with a great story idea, but then refuse to go on camera/speak with someone off camera (or in silhouette)/at least give your name, the story will probably never see the light of day, and I will be very frustrated.


• If the story doesn't involve more than just you, it better be good.


• I reserve the right to add more things as more people call with just plain silly issues.

Thank you for your time.