D'oh!

Finally, it had arrived.

November 7th is the date I had been looking forward to all year. The election would be over, the world series would be over, hockey would be in full swing (you win some, you lose some) and the all new season of The Simpsons would begin.

I set my VCR, as I don't have a TIVO yet, to record. It didn't. I grumbled but quickly went online to find a bit torrent of the episode. Got it and it downloaded quickly. I grabbed my soda, had a cigarette sat back and began to watch the pixilated family pleasure me with the Treehouse of Horrors XV.




This was the beginning of the 16th, and God willing, last season of The Simpsons.

I have been one of the biggest Simpsons fans you will ever meet. I know EVERYTHING about the Simpsons. I have Simpsons books, Simpsons DVD's, and even a Homer poster on my wall. But what I saw was akin to walking in on Andy Rooney giving a blowjob to Rosie O'Donnel, (Yeah, she's got one I'm sure...) while having his ass licked by Gore Vidal. Disturbing? Damn right.

Kang and Kodos made their annual appearance up front in an unenlightened sitcom pariody where they ate the Simpson clan. I hung my head in fear that the remainder of the show would be like that but also held cautious optimism.


The first full segment was entitled The Ned Zone. Homer hits Flanders with a bowling ball (don't ask why, it's stupid) and kills a brain tumor. Ned develops the ability to foresee people's deaths... Well it continues on to where Homer kills the town with his tongue. Bleah.

Next was Four beheadings and a Funeral. Taking place in London in 1890. It was a Sherlock Holmes take off with a couple of murders. Everyone talked in a british accent. There was some slight humor in the occasional social commentary - like when Apu is arrested and Chief Wiggum say's "Lock him up till we find someone darker." A bit of humor in the sign showing the logo of Scotland Yard. 'What's all this, then?' There were then a few jabs at British food. All in all... Terrible. Lots of pointless attempts at pointless humor. Pointless

In the Belly of the Boss - A Fantastic Voyage take off. Not funny and a terrible ending. The only good part about this story was the gratuitous near nudity from Marge. There's nothing wrong with some fan service. But other than that there was no redeming quality to the story.

So does this mean the end of the Simpsons? Unfortunately not. Last I heard the actors still have two years left on their contracts. Which means two more seasons of lackluster writing, poor animation and just down right suckiness.

I long for the days of the Simpsons where the humor was in Homer doing something stupid. Where clever catch phrases weren't to over used and FOX employed writers who were actually good. Al Jean (the show's main show runner now) should promptly have himself flogged for allowing what has happened to the show to happen. But mostly the show needs to be put to sleep before any more fans are lost.

Friday Night Lights

Ever hear of Concord, Illinois? Neither had I and I grew up here. I hope this tells you exactly how small of a town I was sent to tonight on my weekly task, documenting the fall tradition known as high school football.



Upon arriving I expected the usual frenzy of kids and adults hooting and hollering about their local team and how they were going to kill the visitors. What I didn't expect was to learn something. I was wrong on both expectations.

There was hooting and hollering, after all it's playoffs and they are all excited. But there was no 'killing' involved with the yelling. It was rather civilized. "GO BLUE!" "GO TIGERS!" But here is where I began to be amazed.

It started with the singing of the national anthem. Everyone in the stadium stood, shut up, placed their hands on their hearts and turned to the flag as a cute little girl belted out about rockets red glare and bombs bursting in air. I quickly glanced around and noticed that everyone did indeed have their hands on their hearts. But you're susposed to do that, right?

Sure, but how many do? Next time you go to a pro sports game take a look around. I bet you could count how many people actually place thier hands on the hearts on one hand. It's something that I have noticed people just don't do any more. Another thing that suprised me is that they allowed the girl to finish (all the way to the home of the brave) before bursting out in applause. Simply amazing.

The game started. The visiting team started off with a rather ballsey, yet unsuccessful onside kick. As the game proceeded I noticed somethings. First, these kids had to play iron man. The QB was also the punter and the free safety. Yet they didn't seem to tire one bit. Second, the sportsman ship was amazing. They played hard but it was nice to see blue jersey's helping white jersey's up, and white jersey's giving a blue jersey a pat after he made a rather impressive first down. That's the kind of sportsman ship you don't see in the pros and rarely see in college. Hell I don't even see that kind of sportsmanship when the city schools play. And to top it off I didn't hear a single swear word from anyone.

Then there was the fans. They cheered LOUDLY when their team did something good, but they never boos when the opposing team did something good. I even saw some (albeit disappointed) applause when the visitors made a nice pick. In some of the over flow areas there were blue fans and white fans standing side by side, chit chatting between plays. No foul language, no arguing. Just a bunch of farmers, rednecks and hicks enjoying a cold November playoff game.

The lesson I learned is something that I think more people need to learn. Regarless of who's playing, just enjoy it. After all, it's just a game.

Self Esteem or Cowardice?

Okay, I am not the prettiest thing ever to grace this fine planet. But I'm not really ugly either. I'm over weight, but I'm not super fat. I'm a large guy to begin with. At my last body fat test I found out that my lean body mass is 235. That simply means that if I had 0% body fat (which would be fatal) my weight would be 235. All in all, I feel I'm rather average looking.

Hot or Not would tend to agree. I have a rating of 5.4, which is slightly over the middle most rating (1-10).

So what's my problem? I have NEVER had a serious relationship. Nor have I ever had a one night stand. Is it my self esteem that keeps me from forming a relationship, or am I just scared?

Let's look at both cases.

Growing up I had NO self esteem. Having been over weight all my life I of course was the subject of teasing and taunting at the hands of little cock-suckers who (hopefully) ended up working at 7-11 or in a rendering plant. My grandmother (who I was raised by) was no help either. Whenever she got angry at me she made a point to let me know how horrible of a person I was. As a kid it's hard to understand that these things are simply said in anger, rather than being ment.

However, thanks to two very special people - Rob and Clara - I think I managed to over come that. My fears on the other hand...

I'm not afraid of a relationship or commitment. In fact I long for them. I could be perfectly happy spending every waking moment of my life with the same person. I get my 'never know what's going to happen next' kicks from my job. My personal life though... Some stability would be nice.

No, what I am afraid of is rejection. Plain and simple. Not rejection of who I am (because I could really give a flying purple rats ass what anyone thinks about me) but rejection of me. I realize that this sounds rather contradictory, but it's not. The concept of me and who I actually am are different. I'm not afraid of the rejection of 'who Erin is', but rather 'what Erin is'. A few years ago I allowed this fear to keep me from pursuing who I believe was my soul mate. I was afraid that I would be rejected, and with that our friendship would be destroyed.

Currently I am allowing my fears to dictate my life. I am afraid to come out and just tell someone that I care about very much how I feel simply because I am scared to hear those words; "I just don't feel that way about you." To me that is unbearable.

Ridiculous? Yeah. Stupid? You bet! Because of this fear I am a 27 year old man with no wife, no girl friend and an emptiness that no one should have to have. No one to love. No one to need. No one to need you.

I've been told to just go for it. The worst that can happen is that she will say no. Unfortunately for someone like myself, no is far more powerful than a fully loaded gun a pointblank range.

Looks like cowardice wins this battle. Obviously I didn't stand a chance.

No Where To Hide

At 7:30 this morning I finally dosed off to sleep. I was tired at four, but being the man I am, I HAD to stay up and finish watching the results of the election.

While I voted for Michael Badnarik and was honestly hoping that he would win, I found myself exhaling a sigh of relief when I awoke to find that President Bush had won re-election. Like a lot of people who claim a party, I to tend to lean to one side of the idology other the other. I tend to lean to the right. While I no longer support the reasons behind the war in Iraq (though I do support every single man and woman in an American uniform over there) I am one who feel that Bush would do better than Senator Kerry in defending us against terrorism. I honestly believe it was the 'world test' comment that swayed me that way. I am not a fan of the U.N. either, so naturally I am inclined to support anyone who will ignore the U.N. and put what he or she feels America's best intrests are first.

Don't get me wrong. I am not a 'Bush can do no evil' preacher. I am against his spending policies. I am against his view on gay marriage. I am against the government taking a stand against abortion (though I personally oppose it). I hate the FCC and I disagree with the presidents energy policy. Just seems to me though that Sen. Kerry had a lot of the same positions as the President does.

My sigh or relief became even louder when I saw that it wasn't going to be a squeeker in Ohio, or any other state that could sway the election. All the yelling, the screaming, and the name calling would soon be over. The country could begin to become 'The United States', as opposed to 'The Divided States'.

Oh how wrong I was.

I frequent a media related website known as Medialine. I counted no less than fifteen different threads with Republicans gloating, with calls of 'America wanted Bush!' and 'We told you so!'. On the other hand there were the Democrats screaming 'How could we be so stupid!' and 'The election was rigged!'. It just went on and on and on and on.

There are a few posters there like me. Some Libertarians, some moderate Republicans and Democrats, and some independents. What do we do? I made an attempt to take sanctuary in my current crafts homepage, www.b-roll.net. I began to cry when I saw a thread devoted to name calling, screaming and stupid comments. I tried, oh how I tried not to be pulled into it, but when one such stupid comment just got my goat I posted and vented.

Do I feel better? No. I will still have to go to work tomorrow and listen to people (not necessarly my co-workers) complain about Kerry and Bush. I will try and see what's happening in the media world but will be smothered with threads about the evils of Bush and the flip-floppiness of Kerry. And despite what either canidate said, this country will still be cut in two. One half is the theocrats - or Christian Taliban as I lovingly refer to them as. - who want to regulate what I do with and what I put into my body. The other half is the Compassionate Socialists who want to take my money and give the poor things so they will have no need to prosper on their own. And then there is the small minority, like myself, who just want to live in a country where we can do what we want, with who we want, when we want - while not harming another soul - without being called vote wasting idiots.

As I sit here and type this, my mind floods with all the things wrong with the country, and in my opinion, the people in the country. At the same time I realize that what I am doing right now is a right not enjoyed by all the world. I am reminded that this country allows me to do my job with minimal interference. On my way to work tomorrow I am not likely to see a tank roll down Larwence Avenue. I won't see police standing on the corner with assault rifles and pictures of the President hanging off overpasses. I won't be woken during the night by the sounds of air raid sirens and anti-aircraft artillery. I can call the dumbass on his cell phone a son-of-a-bitch when he cuts me off and I can go out and get wasted after work. I can take pictures of the sunset without them being screened by men in camouflage and I can download all the ponography I want.

Yeah, the country's fucked up, but there is no where I'd rather be.

My first post

Welcome to my blog. This would be my first post to it, sans the title, which I hope to tell you (whoever might be reading this) what I am going to blog about.

My blogs will be about whatever I feel like ranting about that day. Sort of like an online diary. Only dumber! Things may be about my day at work. They may be about a current event I want to voice my opinion on. I might blog about the newest anime I watched, or the status of my web show.

Who knows. Check back every now and then to see if I am blogging about anything interesting, or if I am just making an ass out of myself.

I will say, as we in Illinois are three hours away from begining to vote. I would prefer that everyone vote for Michael Badnarik, the libertarian canidate for president. But if you don't, fine. Just make sure you get out there and vote. If you don't, you're spitting on the graves of every single man and woman who have died for this country. You will also forfit your right to complain about anything.

Thank God I am voting because I have a lot to complain about!

In closing, here's a picture of my kitty sleeping. Take care!