Hey Fatso!!

Every now and then I like to show my true colors. Those being black and kackii.

Seriously, I am a deranged, strange, mildy retarded (strike that - that's mean to the nice little mentally disabled folks) idiodic, 8 year old weirdo. So in honor of that, and to make sure my blog doesn't go stale while I work on new posts, I present to you - Bust a Move.

Bust it.

This here's a tale for all the fellas
Try to do what those ladies tell us
Get shot down cause you're over zealous
Play hard to get an females get jealous
Ok smartie, go to a party
Girls are stancin the crowd is showin body
A chick walks by you wish you could sex her
But you're standin on the wall like you was Poindexter
Next days function, high class luncheon
Food is served and you're stone cold munchin'
Music comes on, people start to dance
But then you ate so much you nearly split your pants
A girl starts walkin, guys start gawkin'
Sits down next to you and starts talkin'
Says she wanna dance cus she likes the groove
So come on fatso and just bust a move

You're on a mission and you're wishin'
someone could cure you're lonely condition
You're lookin for love in all the wrong places
Not fine girls just ugly faces
From frustration first inclination
Is to become a monk and leave the situation
But every dark tunnel has a lighter hope
So don't hang yourself with a celibate rope
New movie's showin... so you're goin
Could care less about the five you're blowin
Theatre gets dark just to start the show
When you spot a fine woman sittin in the front row
She's dressed in yellow, she says "Hello,
Come sit next to me you fine fellow"
You run over there without a second to loose
And what comes next, hey bust a move

If you want it baby you've got it
If you want it baby you've got it
Just bust a move

In the city ladies look pretty
Guys tell jokes so they can seem witty
Tell a funny joke just to get some play
Then you try to make a move and she says "no way"
Girls a fakin' ... goodness sakin'
They want a man who brings home the bacon
Got no money and you got no car
Then you got no woman and there you are
Some girls are sophistic... materialistic
Looking for a man makes them opportunistic
They're lyin on the beach perpetratin a tan
So that a brother with money can be their man
So on the beach you're strollin'... real high-rollin'
Everything you have is your's and not stolen
A girl runs up with somethin to prove
So don't just stand there, bust a move

(break down)

Your best friend Harry has a brother Larry
In five days from now he's gonna marry
He's hopin you can make it there if you can
'Cause in the ceremony you'll be the best man
You say "neato"... check your libido
And roll to the church in your new tuxedo
The bride walks down just to start the wedding
And there's one more girl you won't be getting
So you start thinkin, then you start blinkin
A bride maid looks and thinks that you're winkin
She thinks you're kinda cute so she winks back
And now you're feelin really fine cus the girl is stacked
Reception's jumpin, bass is pumpin
Look at the girl and your heart starts thumpin
Says she wants to dance to a different groove
Now you know what to do g, bust a move.

Lens Envy

So I was shooting a Harley Wedding this morning for out 11PM producer and it turns out a crew from the BBC was there. (BTW, I don't care what anyone says, a hot girl with an accent = 10 X hotness. It's a mathematical fact!)

Anyway, the photographer had a Digital Betacam which in and of its self made me want to 407 (LVMPD Robbery Code) them. But the glass (that's a photo term for lens for you non-photo people) was awe inspiring.

I could only stare.

The lens was bigger than my freakin' foot - I wear size 14 for comparisons sake.

It made my lens seem like a Fisher Price 'My First Camera' play set prop.

I won't even go into the fact that they had a 5 person entourage. Blasted network people! ((Pictures lens, sobs softly.))

Remember...

Sometimes I get really frustrated with my job. It seems like for every thing that makes me like the job, there are two things that make me dislike it. So every now and then I need to make a point to remind myself of the things that make me like it.

Run on sentences aside, here is one of those things.

As a photog I get to see things that I probably would never see, either because I wouldn’t have the opportunity, or in the case of this story, probably wouldn’t have made the effort. But I did get to attend a Memorial Day service at Camp Butler National Cemetery in Springfield, Illinois in May 2004.

This service is one of the things I remember so vividly. Simply, it was this old man here. The still doesn’t do this man justice. But what is happening is the color guard is marching in with all the flags. He salutes and as he ends his salute, a single tear rolls down his face.

I don’t know this mans name. I don’t know where he’s from or what his story is. All I know is that the image of him saluting the flags and the tear rolling down his cheek will be burnt into my mind for the rest of my life.

My point? My point is that one of the things that makes me feel the way I do about this job is that I am sure that someone else saw this story, saw this man salute, and watched the single tear roll down his cheek and is now just like me.

Remembering him; remembering the emotion he displayed seeing his flag marched in front of him, for the rest of their life.

That is what I want to do. Impact people. And while I understand that not every story will do this, this one may have. And at least now I can acknowledge that my life’s purpose is partially fulfilled. And you know something else? This story is one that actually made me feel like I earned the title ‘Photojournalist’.

I’d like to post the entire story online, soon as I can figure out how without hogging up all my bandwidth (raw file is 450 MB!).

Major Props; KLAS-TV

KLAS TV in Las Vegas, where I work, received 22 Emmy nominations from the National Academy of Arts and Sciences; Pacific Southwest Chapter.

This was more nominations than the rest of the market combined.

I wish I had been around last year so I could say I helped contribute to that number, but I wasn't so I can't. Hopefully we'll get 25 next year!

Extra props goes out to my fellow photojournalists that were nominated, Adam White, Cory Royer, Victor Woodall (CP who abandoned us for Phoenix *sadness*), and Matt Adams (our new CP).

Anyway, here is the complete list of PSC nominations (PDF).

The Art of SAQ

There is a thread on b-roll.net inspired by FTOJRLST's blog about people who ask, and I am being kind when I phrase it this way, stupid ass questions.

I came into contact with one of these fine people on Saturday morning.

I was covering the end of a high speed pursuit (I never get the actually pursuits... cry!). I was stowing my camera into the back of my vehicle when someone who had been waiting in traffic slows down next to me.

"What channel is this going to be on?"

Now, to demonstrate why this was a Stupid Ass Question (or SAQ), let me show you some illustrations (all should be clicked on for full effect...):

This is the shirt I was wearing. For the record it was 7:35 AM and the sun WAS up, and it was shining very brightly. I was facing the sun, so said person was looking away from the sun and cannot use that as an excuse.

This was the badge that I had around my neck. While it is small, the 8 is clearly visible to anyone who decided to take the time and look, as in order to not be the delivery mechanism of a SAQ. I recommend to all people that you think about looking at the badge of anyone before you ask what they do or who they are with...

This was the car I was driving. Granted, it's not mine, I stole it, but when you go on vacation your take home car becomes a fleet car. But that's not the point. The point is that the vehicle is clearly marked, in 12 inch lettering "8 (CBS LOGO) EYEWITNESS NEWS".

IT'S EVEN ON THE BACK!!!!!!!!!! You know, in case you didn't quite make it to the front quarter panel and didn't see the BIG ASS MOTHER (censored, since it's God's day and all)ING 8 ON THE SIDE!!!!!!!!





Its times like this that I should remind the readers that my views do not represent the views of my employer, and I am sure that they would want to bitch slap me for making public my views! Hopefully though they don't because I don't need to be bitch slapped again this week...

Anywhoooo... I politely told the nice man that it would probably be on channel 8 this evening. He smiled and went on his way. I got in the car and headed off to the three other things they had me scheduled to do in the last hour and a half of my shift.

You know, I bet 99.9% of the population of this planet would never be guilty of a SAQ, yet it seems the only ones who come up to talk to us are the .1%... It's true what they say. A camera is a $50,000 idiot magnet.

At least he didn't ask me which paper I was with...

@#^!@~*&!@#~@ Trip!

Hrm... I don't think I will blog about my trip. Why not:



It makes me angry. Here is my advice to you all. Do not, under any circumstance, rent from Dollar Rent-A-Car. Never, ever, ever. It is the most ghetto, jerk-off run place I have EVER seen.

Budget gets sloppy dog kisses from me.

United Airlines (or more precisely, United by Ted) gets major props. I plan to fly United as much as possible now.

That's all, nothing more to see here. Maybe if the populace demands it I will go into details, but outside of that, nothing else is to be said.

Hopefully something interesting will happen tonight at work, otherwise you are going to be stuck with me blogging about my home town for the next few days...

Off I Go Again!

Since I didn't learn my lesson last time about flying and the TSA, I thought I would try it again.

I am flying, today, from Vegas to Chicago for my sisters High School Graduation! Yay! Hopefully the voyage will go much smoother! I'll keep you all informed!

I am sure you will be waiting with baited breath...