Incoming...

Hurricane Katrina is currently expected to make landfall near New Orleans Monday morning around 7:00 AM.

I've browsed around the internet and found some earlier stories about what would happen if a major hurricane slammed into The Big Easy.

(Washing Away)
(What Happens - A Cat 5 Hits New Orleans)

I've been watching television coverage on the internet from stations in New Orleans.

(WWL)

Based on everything, I think this could be the first event in recent history that has a good possibility of literally wiping a city off the face of the Earth.

I can't imagine what is going through the minds of the people who have decided to stay and sit this storm out, but I wish them luck.

Here is a wire message from the national weather service. Emphasis is added by me (even though it was originally in all caps):

URGENT - WEATHER MESSAGE
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE NEW ORLEANS LA
1011 AM CDT SUN AUG 28 2005

...DEVASTATING DAMAGE EXPECTED...

.HURRICANE KATRINA...A MOST POWERFUL HURRICANE WITH UNPRECEDENTED
STRENGTH...RIVALING THE INTENSITY OF HURRICANE CAMILLE OF 1969.

MOST OF THE AREA WILL BE UNINHABITABLE FOR WEEKS...PERHAPS LONGER. AT
LEAST ONE HALF OF WELL CONSTRUCTED HOMES WILL HAVE ROOF AND WALL
FAILURE. ALL GABLED ROOFS WILL FAIL...LEAVING THOSE HOMES SEVERELY
DAMAGED OR DESTROYED.

THE MAJORITY OF INDUSTRIAL BUILDINGS WILL BECOME NON FUNCTIONAL.
PARTIAL TO COMPLETE WALL AND ROOF FAILURE IS EXPECTED. ALL WOOD
FRAMED LOW RISING APARTMENT BUILDINGS WILL BE DESTROYED. CONCRETE
BLOCK LOW RISE APARTMENTS WILL SUSTAIN MAJOR DAMAGE...INCLUDING SOME
WALL AND ROOF FAILURE.

HIGH RISE OFFICE AND APARTMENT BUILDINGS WILL SWAY DANGEROUSLY...A
FEW TO THE POINT OF TOTAL COLLAPSE. ALL WINDOWS WILL BLOW OUT.

AIRBORNE DEBRIS WILL BE WIDESPREAD...AND MAY INCLUDE HEAVY ITEMS SUCH
AS HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES AND EVEN LIGHT VEHICLES. SPORT UTILITY
VEHICLES AND LIGHT TRUCKS WILL BE MOVED. THE BLOWN DEBRIS WILL CREATE
ADDITIONAL DESTRUCTION. PERSONS...PETS...AND LIVESTOCK EXPOSED TO THE
WINDS WILL FACE CERTAIN DEATH IF STRUCK.

POWER OUTAGES WILL LAST FOR WEEKS...AS MOST POWER POLES WILL BE DOWN
AND TRANSFORMERS DESTROYED. WATER SHORTAGES WILL MAKE HUMAN SUFFERING
INCREDIBLE BY MODERN STANDARDS.

THE VAST MAJORITY OF NATIVE TREES WILL BE SNAPPED OR UPROOTED. ONLY
THE HEARTIEST WILL REMAIN STANDING...BUT BE TOTALLY DEFOLIATED. FEW
CROPS WILL REMAIN. LIVESTOCK LEFT EXPOSED TO THE WINDS WILL BE
KILLED.

AN INLAND HURRICANE WIND WARNING IS ISSUED WHEN SUSTAINED WINDS NEAR
HURRICANE FORCE...OR FREQUENT GUSTS AT OR ABOVE HURRICANE FORCE...ARE
CERTAIN WITHIN THE NEXT 12 TO 24 HOURS.

ONCE TROPICAL STORM AND HURRICANE FORCE WINDS ONSET...DO NOT VENTURE
OUTSIDE!

For people living in this historic city, this is as close to the apocalypse as they will probably ever get. Again, I wish everyone the best and I hope that anyone who decided to stay changes there minds RIGHT NOW and gets the hell out of Dodge.

A Hard Hat Morning

I had the distinct pleasure in taking part in one of the most pointless live shots ever on Tuesday. And I say pointless because as interesting as it was, it wasn’t news. Sorry. But then again it got me out of any real work, so who am I to bitch?

Word on the street (and when I say that I mean written on a press release) was that the new Boca Raton condo tower was going to be pouring cement to make the walls - and the foundation for the towers - of the underground parking garage. There were going to be 200 cement mixers bringing in like 3000 yards of cement!

Considering that I like construction sites and big holes, I was down with that. Besides, it would be pretty cool to see 200 cement mixers all lined up, waiting to unload their goo. *I'm tired, don't ask.*

So I arrived at the south strip (they call it that even though it's like 2 miles south of 'the strip' which as far as I am concerned runs from Sahara to Sunset, considering that's where the casinos resorts end) location and set up. I was the first media there so I parked the T-TIC right at the edge of the hole so I could get a great view of the cement being poured.

I was immediately disappointed. First off, it wasn't going to be 200 trucks at once. It was 200 throughout the day. D'oh!

Then I found out (the site supervisor told me more info about concrete then I will ever need, but I did learn that it's not just pouring the stuff - its literally a science) that the big tube thingy that pumps the concrete into the walls would not be visible so I wouldn't even get to see any concrete being poured!

And then finally, after my 6:40 AM hit, my producer said I was clear. I misunderstood her and thought she meant from the hit, when she meant from the show. I spent another hour out there wondering 'WHEN THE FUCK IS MY NEXT HIT!?!'

I called her and learned that I'm an idiot.

But not all was lost. As in my previous post, John Farrell of News 3 took some shots of me that I can use to arouse hot chicks on the internet with. I also learned a lot about concrete and how a pair of 9 story towers are made, and have a bit more respect for the guys in the hole than I did before.

But the best thing of all, since I was on a construction site, OSHA requires you to be in a hard hat. So the site supervisor (who was a super awesome guy, for the record) gave me one to use, then told me I could keep it!

Yes, I get thrilled about things like that. So?

Make Me Pretty!

Heh.

John Farrell, one of the overnight photographers for NBC 3 here in Las Vegas does some professional photography on the side.

For whatever reason while we were at a shoot Tuesday morning, he took a couple of pictures of me. Then he touched them up in Photoshop.

If I do say so myself, he actually made me look somewhat pretty! Not that being pretty is a good thing... It's just not necessarily a bad thing!





Okay, okay. I'm not pretty. But still, he did a great job with Photoshop on these. Plus he's shown me some of his other work. So if anyone is in Vegas and needs a photographer, let me know and I will hook you up with John.

I'll explain the hard hat later.

Heads Up!

One of the things I try to do in this job is arrive at active scenes quickly. You get the best video that way, like the fireman rushing into a burning building to save a kitty cat, or someone who was helplessly trapped in a well being pulled to safety.

After all, if you aren't going to get on scene soon enough to get lots of flashing lights, why bother going?

Sunday I was dispatched (by myself) to a rollover accident on the Red Rock Loop (NV S.R. 159). I actually had another story I was supposed to shoot at Mandalay Bay at 6 (I really, really hate it when they schedule me stuff to do because something ALWAYS happens, then they get mad at me for not getting it!) so I was sitting on the rollover, since it was a long drive.

Editors Note: When I say I'm sitting on a call, it means that I have my scanner locked down to the channel waiting for emergency personal to arrive. Once there, they give a status report. I use that to determine whether or not I need to respond. Some of the people at my station wonder how I choose which calls to sit on and which ones to roll on ASAP. It's hard to explain, as I have a 'gift' when it comes to listening to scanners, but I know which ones.

Before NHP and EMS arrived the Clark County Fire dispatcher advised the fire trucks that OnStar had someone on the phone who said that he was trapped in the vehicle. He also stated that the other person in the vehicle didn't have a pulse.

CCFD dispatched Heavy Rescue 21 and another engine unit. Along with Engine 80, Engine 34 and Rescue 28 already en route.

No more sitting, time to roll.

The nice thing about 5:30 AM Sunday morning is that you can still get anywhere quick. The highways weren't too bad clogged. Plus I got a bonus when I exited on Rainbow at 215. I saw the Heavy behind me about 1/4 of a mile.

I pull over (as anyone should do where there is a fire truck behind them) and allow the Heavy to pass. I then follow him - staying the law required 500 feet back - to the scene. The enjoyable part is that people are pulling over for the fire truck and are STAYING pulled over till I pass. Made me feel a little special.

After about 20 minutes we arrive on scene. I stop about 1,500 feet away from the scene. I had heard Engine 80 demanding Mercy Air (the EMS helo) to come to the scene so I didn't want my truck to be in the way. I get out and see the fire fighters setting up an LZ.

The trapped person had managed to get out of the vehicle - either with the help of NHP or FD - so there would be no extraction. Because of that I stayed back. I knew this was probably a fatal so I was going to be kicked out anyway, so why bother walking all that way.

A fireman walked up to me and says 'Head up, dude!'

I look up and see the chopper coming over the mountains. I turn back to him and say 'Am I in your LZ?'

He nods.

I quickly throw my gear back into my live unit and floor it into reverse. I back up another 500 feet, past where he was setting up flares, jump back out and get some (if I do say so myself) really awesome helicopter video. (I love helicopters.)

The end result was sad. One 25 year old lady died. NHP told me that it was a very violent wreck and the scene was 'very graphic'. Her passenger, a man, was airlifted to the hospital with what were called 'extensive injuries'.

Alcohol was a factor in the crash. And of course, what causes every wreck on SR 159, speed. They said the car was going in excess of 90 MPH.

The arrow on the map shows the approximate location of the crash. The car took that curve at that speed, left the road, hit a cattle guard and flipped end over end twice. Hopefully this will get some people to slow down, but I doubt it.

Map stolen from US Department of Trasnportation.

More Anime...

I'm kind of on a kick this week.

Anyway, I was chatting with Coop and hiding from the assignment desk the other day when I was showing him some of my old websites. I told him about how my old Ranma site had over 750,000 unique visitors (not a lot in the grand scheme of things, but pretty good when you figure I really wasn't offering anything) in the 7 years that I activly worked on it.

Coop looks to me and says, "Why'd you take it down?"

I forgot what I said, but when I got home I pondered that. Why did I take it down?

So what the hell, I put it back up. ewink's FUNKDAFIED ranma 1/2 site. Back to life. Woot, I guess.

I'll get back to work rants soon, I promise.

ewink's FUNKDAFIED Summer Anime Recommendations!

Summer's here, and I guess almost over with. Unless of course you live in the southern hemisphere. If that's the case, please disregard this and come back in five months. Anyway, what better way to spend it then by staying inside and watching subtitled anime straight from Japan!

This anime, referred to as fansubs, is anime that is currently airing in Japan and is not available in North America yet.

Here are my recommendations for the summer! Be fore warned. This is long. If you don't want to read this, then why did you come here? Wait, don't leave. I'll bake you cookies.........

Full Metal Panic:TSR

Full Metal Panic is one of my favorite anime. Personally, I think I would rank it in the top five, if not the top two. (I'm sorry, but IMHO no anime will ever out shine Ranma ½.)

TSR, short for 'The Second Raid', is the third series in the Full Metal Panic franchise. In case you've never seen FMP, let me give you a short rundown.

Kaname Chidori is a high school girl that is one of 'The Whispered'. The Whispered are very special people that hold the secrets of black technology. There are very bad people who want black technology, so Sgt. Sousuke Sagara is sent to go undercover in high school and protect her.

Sousuke is a part of MITHRIL, a secret military organization with ties to no government. They are basically a large mercenary force that is well funded and has amazing technology.

Sousuke has been a fighter all his life. Going from place to place, he never had a real childhood. All he knows is the battlefield. Which is why when he was placed in a civilian spot - in high school - the only thing that can happen is hilarity.

Trust me on that one. Freakin' hilarity.

Anyway, the first FMP was a mix of comedy, action and some where underneath all that, a love story. The second series (Full Metal Panic: Fumoffu) was just damned goofy. No where near the fighting and action of the first one, but it is non-stop laughs.

The second raid takes place not too long after the first series. Only three episodes have been released so far, but basically there is an evil scientist (we know he's a scientist because he wears a lab coat) who apparently deals in black technology. This dude is nuts, almost laughably so. Long review short, he ends up going up against MITHRIL.

There is also two twin sisters who are guns for hire. These girls are bad ass and are hired by the evil insane scientist. There is a huge story with them, but we don't quite know what it is yet.

FMP:TSR has A LOT of action in it, but is still manages to hold comedic value as well. It's got mecha in it as well, which always makes for a good time. Then of course, as I mentioned, hot chicks that kick ass.

Don't just take my word for it. If you are unfamiliar with the FMP series, you can rent it via Greencine - a Netflix with tons of anime. If you are familiar with it, or don't mind starting in the middle of something (there is some background explanation in the anime) you can download TSR from Bakakozou, my sub group of choice for this fansub. Bakakozou has been quick with the subs and they are very high quality. You need either IRC or BitTorrent!

Shuffle!

Shuffle! is a newer anime that has just recently begun being fansubbed. It's what us anime nerds (or otaku) call a harem series, as there is several girls pining for one guy - kind of like he has his own harem. Get it?

Shuffle! takes place in an alternate reality where the gates to the land of demons and the land of gods have been opened. Gods and demons walk among humans, go to school with humans, and do other naughty things that we won't go into here.

Here's the story. A high school kid named Rin Tsuchimi is staying with his childhood friend Kaeda Fuyo. I forget exactly why, but I think it's because someone died or is on business. It's really not relevant. Anyway, The lord of the demons and the lord of the gods (who happen to be best friends - one way you know this anime is funny nuts) both want Rin to marry one of their daughters, Nerine the daughter of the demon lord, or Lisianthus (nicknamed Sia) the daughter of the lord of the gods.

They both have a history with Rin, that he really doesn't remember. Short version was that the two girls were lost in the human realm and Rin was nice and played with them until their dads found 'em.

As with all these series, all the boys in school (who were already pissed that Rin had the monopoly on Kaeda) are jealous of Rin because now he has these two hotties hanging onto him. Not to mention all three girls have groups of groupies (one unfortunately nicknamed the KKK which I am assuming - and hoping - doesn't have the same meaning in Japan as it does here) all attacking Rin on a daily basis.

I am in love with this anime. It's funny and it's cute, both of which appeal to me. Though too much cuteness makes my ears hurt.

Shuffle! can be downloaded from Froth Bite. They do a great job and have two of my favorite series!

Mahoraba ~Heartful Days~

I feel like I am becoming a girl. I am choosing two anime here in a row that revolves around a love story! I think I need to go outside, have a beer, kill something and pee standing up. One moment please.

Much better. My manly self can now recommend Mahoraba ~Heartful Days~, which even though it is partially disguised as a love story, is actually a knee slappingly comedic comedy.

Mahoraba revolves around Ryuji Shiratori who is 18 and is an aspiring picture book writer. In order for him to go to school in Tokyo he moves into an apartment building owned by his 2nd cousin's mother. Well, she's not there (I think she's dead... A lot of people are dead in Japan...) so the apartment is managed by his second cousin, Kozue Aoba.

Kozue has a very odd multiple personality disorder. When she is shocked, she turns into one of four alternate personalities. A quiet, magician girl; a six year old; a kick-you-in-the-ass-and-not-even-tell-you-the-time chick; and a cosplay maniac. This obviously leads to weird and hilarious situations.

Then there are the residents. You have a weird old man, Yukio Haibara, who has a puppet dog on his hand, Johnny, that talks for him. The puppet refers to the man as a prop. He's like a non-gay, twice as insane, Mr. Garrison. Then we have Megumi Momono, a lush who I don't really understand yet.

Kotomi Chanohata, a very scary girl also lives there. She is the best friend of Kozue and does everything she can to make her happy. It's very non-sexual lesbian-ish. I don't think that term actually exists, but since I am an idiot I can use words that don't exist.

Finally we have Sayoko Kurosaki and her daughter Asami. Sayoko cracks me up. She's so lazy!!! She hides underneath the house to avoid work! But at the same time, she loves Asami. Asami is also a hoot, because she's proud to be poor! These two have a neat story behind them, but I won't give it away here.

All and all, Mahoraba is a very well written and very funny anime. Its cuteness level is high, but not gag me with a spoon and kick me in the jimmy high. You can download these episode from Froth Bite. Better hurry though! The series has been going on for at least 23 episodes!

Girls Bravo: Second Season

Okay, enough of this sensitive cute crap. On to the pervertness!

Girls Bravo is an anime that's referred to as ecchi. What that means is that it's not porn, but there is plenty of nudity without a purpose - or fan service. There is a ton of nudity in this show and I believe (if I remember my readings correctly) that is was the first off air anime to receive a R-15 rating - which I think would translate into a TV-M here.

Hey look at that. Nudity on TV and some how Japan manages to keep a crime rate that is, per capita, lower than the United States! But I digress, that's for another day.

The plot (which has mostly been disregarded) is that Miharu comes from the planet Siren where the ratio of women to men is 10:1. She came through a portal in our protagonists, Yukinari Sasaki, bathtub.

Did I mention that Yukinari has an affliction where every time he touches a woman he gets hives and eventually passes out? No? Well he does. But lucky for him somehow Miharu doesn't bother him! Love ensues, as well as hilarity.

There is of course the other women who love him, one of which just happens to be a witch, and his best friend (with DDDDD boobies!), Kirie Kojima. There are also other people who join Miharu from Siren in an attempt to find Miharu's sister, Maharu, a husband.

Then there is Kazuharu Fukuyama, a rich pervert who tries to land every single female in the series.

Did I mention that Fukuyama has almost the same problem as Yukinari? Except he gets hives when he is touched by a man. Did I mention that? No? Well he does.

I think one of the reasons I love this anime so much (asides from the full frontal nudity) is that it is so wild and random. I love shows like that. I love the fact that they have pretty much disregarded the plot (a, ahem, love story between Yukinari and Miharu) and just do what they have to do to make people like me laugh. They have done a hell of a good job at it.

Season One of the show is available on DVD and I would recommend buying it, or at least renting it from Greencine. You can download Season Two from Anime Yuki.

Futakoi Alternative

The final anime I want to tell you about is Futakoi Alternative. This anime is a semi-sequel to the popular anime Futakoi. I say semi-sequel because it has the same characters (albeit a few years older) but seems to take place in an ALTERNATIVE time line. So you don't need to see the original, but you can if you want. I downloaded it and got bored with it, so I haven't seen anymore than the first 6 minutes of the first episode. So I declare you really don't need to see the original.

I guess I already said that. Sorry.

In this Futakoi there are a pair of twins, Sara and Soju Shirogane who somehow and for some reason become the assistants of Rentarou Futaba who is now running the Futaba Detective Agency after his fathers death.

Now I would love to explain to you the whole plot of this story but I can't. I don't know what it is. The show is so strange and out there with total randomness to what happens that you can't follow it. It's impossible. It's like Pulp Fiction on meth and crack and a liter of Mt. Dew.

So why am I recommending it?

Because it's funny, it's got action, it's got cute girls, and (god damn it!!!) it's got a cute love story in it. A very odd and hard to understand love triangle between Sara, Soju and Rentarou.

As I said, I love random weird things and FutAlt is nothing but. While each episode has a story, it's important not to get to terribly caught up in it. If you do, you'll end up missing half the comedy and then wondering why it didn't make sense. It's one of those things that you should just sit back and enjoy. Thinking is not required nor recommended. I already tried it. Broke my brain it did.

FutAlt can be downloaded from Anime Yuki. They're a little slow on getting episodes of this and Girls Bravo done, probably because they have picked up a lot of anime, but it's worth the wait. These guys are really one of the best sub groups out there. Props my Aussie homies.

I'm Done!

Yup. If you have any recommendations, or just want to bitch about me, leave a comment!

What The F#@K?

Okay, here's a question. First off, why in the world would someone search for the search term 'big ass hole'? I mean, what kind of person does that?

I'm not trying to be judgmental here, I just wonder what is going through someone’s mind when they type 'big ass hole' into Yahoo!. Are they actually looking for expanded sphincters? Maybe they are looking for people who are big and assholes! Or maybe they are just looking for some big ass holes (in the ground, like the one I wrote about...)

My second question is, WHY am I fifth?? I mean I have to use the word ass hole enough to be ranked first or second. I'm not going to lie and say that I am not a little bit upset at being ousted by four other sites with bigger ass holes than me. It hurts. I will get over it, in time. But for now, well those people are just ass holes.

For the record, I check my referral sites on a daily basis, and that is how I found out that someone did a search for big ass hole and accessed my site.