Welcome Back!

Man, am I happy to be back working the weekends again. See that's how you can tell that I am not quite right. I actually WANT to work on Friday and Saturday nights!

For me, the weekends are far more enjoyable than the weekdays. The primary reason being (as I have bitched about this before, if you already know, skip to the next paragraph) that I don't have to drive a fucking live truck at all on Saturday and not till later on Sunday - even though I do now drive the live truck all night long ever since being 'complained to' (a/k/a bitched at) for having to switch trucks. Secondly, Saturday there is no show, so there is no producers, which means I have tons of freedom and I don't have to check out every single crash and reported 'fire in a building' (a/k/a pot on the stove). Sunday I have Adorable Producer #3 (AP3) Ressa, but she knows I know my job and doesn't bother me.

Weekends are usually busier too. More robbers and more tourists and more drinking combines for a gaggle of interesting and sometimes sad news stories. I enjoy it when it's busy, as the night goes by a lot faster. And while that might be harsh, I tend to think that this stuff would happen to people anyway, so what's wrong with wanting it to happen when I am working?

The picture to the right was from the only big news on Saturday. Dude and his girlfriend (who was downright disgusting) was walking into the Seamless Ultra Lounge (which I am assuming is Las Vegas speak for 'classy titty bar', since that's what Seamless is...). Some dude walks up to them, demands the victims bling. Old boy tells robber to fornicate himself. Robber, at point blank range, shoots victim in the fucking shoulder...

Now, I'm glad that the guy is going to be okay, but how, at five feet, can you miss and hit someone in the shoulder? This robber should be ashamed of himself.

Tonight started off sad. There was a single car accident that night side covered, but the police were not being very forthcoming and giving any information. Later, after I started, I hear some homicide guys on the radio, and eventually METRO's Fatal Detail (for fatal car accidents). I pondered what could be up, so I called John Farrell. No, not the lovable scamp from News 3, but the METRO Lieutenant who was watch commander Saturday night that shares the same name. Both good Irish names.

Back on topic, it turns out that a poor 81 year old lady got ran over by her own car somehow. The police at first thought it was suspicious, so homicide came out. They interviewed her son and some neighbors and found that no one would EVER want this nice old lady dead. They declared it an accident, so Fatal came out to take over the investigation. I zipped by to get the info we didn't have from Sgt. McDonald (not Ronald, even though that would be kind of cool) and headed back to the station.

As soon as I got back I hear a report of a stabbing up in North Las Vegas. I throw the tape I just shot at AP3 and bolt out the door. It wasn't TOO far away, maybe I can get there and get an ambulance shot!

I couldn't. I did get some video and then the unthinkable happened. North Las Vegas police moved me!

Northtown NEVER moves the media. In fact, I think that Northtown would let us walk right up to the bodies if it wouldn't hinder their investigation. NLVPD has to be the most media friendly police department on the planet. In fact, the PIO called my station to let us know that it turned into a homicide and that he was enroute and we should send a crew.

PIO must have forgotten who he was dealing with here. (HA!) It's interesting though, NLVPD and NHP (Nevada Highway Patrol) have PIO's who will call the stations if there is news. Almost makes it pointless to listen to the scanners! Of course, by the time the PIO is called out, all the flashing lights and interesting video has disappeared, so it's still a good idea to listen and roll ASAP.

While on the homicide, the NLV Watch Commander informed me that there was a serious accident up in the north end of the city. After I got some info from the PIO on this, myself and 13 who had finally arrived went to the crash. Apparently a woman was ejected and now she was reported to be paralyzed.

Well, that was bullshit! We arrive and the cops are like "Oops, we meant she was fine. Just released from the hospital." Oh well, I guess I'd rather be given bad news tips from the cops than no news tips!

Sol and I headed off to Triple Play for lunch (I, as usual, had the Philly Cheesesteak!). Not too long afterwards there was a report of an accident where a car caught fire. The occupant was out, so I really wasn't that interested, but I heard the Fatal unit guys beginning to log on, so I headed that way.

What seemed boring at first was really interesting. Let's preface this by saying that the occupant will be fine.

Apparently, according to police conversations that I probably wasn't supposed to hear, some woman was coming down the road at 100+ MPH. Now, as you can see in the picture, there is a hole in the middle of the road. This part of the road is actually a bridge over a flood canal. There are guard rails on the side, but none in the middle.

She seems to have some how driven right into the gap and into the hole. According to witnesses, she pulled a Dukes of Hazzard and went airborne for 108 feet before slamming into the side of the flood canal. Her windshield and quite a bit of junk that was in her car was blown out an additional 50 feet!

Three people who hear the crash came down and saw the car on fire and the woman trapped. They jumped to her rescue and pulled her out moments before the gas tank exploded!

As for the guard rail, unofficial comments lead me to believe that at her speed, if there was a guard rail protecting the gap, it would have certainly killed her. I do find it interesting, being that this bridge is right after a curve in the road, that (at least since Feb 05) no one else has plummeted down there.

Maybe that's why there's no guard rail? It will be an interesting follow up, but alas not for me, as it's 9:00 AM and time for me to go home!

Tonight I go back to my job as the utility photog - the third wheel as it is - for our shaken up morning show (we lost our main anchor for unknown reason, our female anchor was moved to noon and the anchor they hired for the 4:00 show was moved to our show, AND the sports reporter was promoted to anchoring our show). Hopefully I will be kept busy! If not, there's always Starbucks!

Time In Illinois :: Final Day

So here I am, back home.

It's interesting. When i was living up in Minneapolis I always referred to Springfield as home. Of course now, I realize home is where you hang your hat. Or in my case, where I throw my hat on the floor.

I slept until about noon Thursday, finally crawling out of bed and being pleasantly surprised in the fact that I already packed before going to sleep the previous night. I was meeting my mom for one final dinner at 4:30, so I had a little over four hours to get busy and tie up any loose ends.

Fortunately my mom decided she wanted to keep the Jeep for an extra day, so I didn't have to worry about that. Thank god too. I'd hate to have driven down to Bellville in her POS Kia. There's a reason those things only cost fifty dollars...

On my way to the mall to return my loaner phone I called Chris. I realized that I should have went anyway, drama and gas be damned. I guess there was over reaction on everyone's part. No use pining over it though. You live with your decisions, and this is one I will have to live with.

I made it to the mall (T-Mobile) and dropped off my phone. I was expecting the Jeep to break down, or Oompa-Lumpa's to car jack me, seeing as now I had no phone and my only means of communication would have been smoke signals or semaphore. However I managed to make it to Jerry's in one piece to give them one last visit and to say 'TTFN' to the little one named after me.

That was done with about 4:15. I had fifteen minutes to make it across town. Unlike Vegas, cross-town isn't far. But every one of these sons-of-a-guns drives at 10 below the speed limit! It was very frustrating to be on Madison Ave., a four lane one way street, with everyone poking along. I was doing back-flips in the drivers seat. Here in Sin City, you drive 10 below the limit, you'll get shot at by the police.

I arrived at Springfield's most elegant seafood hut, Chesapeake. Damn place was like a retirement home! I could feel my mom and I getting older just sitting in there. I think after my mom, the youngest person couldn't have been any less than 65. This is where your social security money is going. Stuffed Salmon.

My step-dad was really cool and bought us a $50 gift certificate. We managed to only go over by $5 and had the best meal of the vacation.

Checking my itinerary, I found that my flight was actually a half hour earlier than I though. So we hauled ass down to Bellville Mid-America airport, which should be named 'Bellville Mid-Bum-Fuck-Egypt Airport.' It's actually east of Bellville in a town called Mascoutah (they probably called it Bellville because no one could spell Mascoutah) and it shares a runway with Scott Air Force Base. It's got a big terminal, even though only two flights come in and two flights go out a day.

Though it beats driving into St. Louis and paying the outrageous fees to fly into and out of Lambert.

So we arrive in plenty of time and I check in, leaving my baggage with TSA. The nice boys go ahead and search my bags and probably growl at me for the stinky socks that greeted them (it's my form of protest against the invasion of privacy the TSA engages in). Mom and I hung outside for a while, all the time I realized I can't stand the smell of cigarette smoke anymore.

After the plane landed with the people coming back from Vegas, I kissed Mommy goodbye and went inside, only to find that I couldn't locate my boarding pass. I began to freak out. I ran up to the desk and asked if they could make me a new one. The lady asked if I had any baggage. I said of course and she told me that there was no record of my baggage on the plane.

I started to freak out again. There's only one fucking plane. How in the world could they lose my baggage? Regardless, I was running in circles when I saw a piece of paper on the ticket counter.

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!

I left my boarding pass sitting on the counter and it was STILL there! I showed it to the lady, since it had my baggage claim numbers on the back. She smiled and told me not to worry about what the computer said, because if I had numbers, my bags were in the back and would be loaded on the plane.

I decided to trust her, breezed through security and eventually boarded the plane. I have no idea why I get a window seat when I am not in an exit row. No room to move. And really, until you land there's nothing interesting to look at.

The plane ride back was bumpy as hell. The fasten seatbelt sign was on for a good part. The poor flight attendants kept yelling at people because during the drops and bumps and loop-de-loops it felt like we were going through dumb fuckers kept getting up to get stuff out of their carry on bags and piss.

Finally we landed. We were 30 minutes early.

Not good.

We sat for a good twenty minutes on a holding pad in between terminals C and D at McCarran waiting for a gate. Again, people were up and walking around, causing the flight crew to get snippy. Eventually we were able to taxi to D4 were we eventually unloaded like the cattle we were (MD-80's are not the biggest aircraft in existence...). Also, I'd like to comment that anyone who farts on an airplane is a bastard who deserves to be hanged.

McCarran deserves a big kick in the ass, and I am going to have Cooper yell at the McCarran lady over this. Thursday night, all the tourists are coming into town. There is probably about 3000 people waiting for ONE FUCKING TRAM from the D gates to the main terminal were the baggage is.

What the hell? There are two tram tracks, why are they only using one? People were pushing and shoving to get onto the tram. I didn't make the first one, but I did manage to cram my way into the second. Doors were trying to shut on people. Hell, if that thing had crashed or something, they'd have to bury the whole thing because there was no way anyone would have been able to pry us out.

I eventually got to baggage claim, my bags did indeed pop out, waited in line for about 40 minutes for a taxi, got back to KLAS and grabbed my car and headed home. Waiting for me was my new cell phone (happy happy!), so now I can show you some of the pictures from my trip!

I only was able to take pictures the first day and a half, but whatever.

I, personally, think it is 100% acceptable to take a picture when someone dares you to throw a quarter down their cleavage while waiting to check in at the airport. I have, however concealed her identity since her boyfriend looked like someone who could beat the living bejesus out of me.






Here is the aircraft I was telling you about back on day one. Doesn't look like they had found whatever caused them to come racing up yet. I checked when I got to Springfield and I didn't see any news about a parked aircraft that had exploded, so I assume that they got whatever the issue was taken care of.





The truck stop where Jerry and I spent many a nights drinking coffee till four in the morning. Nights that Jerry couldn't go, Jason and I usually went because we could do some writing and then play pinball till the sun came up. The truck stop is good inspiration for characters... I just hope they don't want a cut of our profits...





This is a 'Horseshoe'. I am certain it is responsible for 85% of all the heart attack deaths in Central Illinois. This one is from D’Arcy’s Pint. It's a Buffalo Chicken Horseshoe. What it consists of is toast on the bottom, meat (in this case, a buffalo chicken fillet, with of course the hot sauce), french fries and finally cheese sauce. Since this one is a buffalo chicken version, it's also got additional hot sauce on the top. Some people put the cheese below the fries, some on top. I would mix, have some below, some above. These are fuckin' good.



This picture is a little hard to see, as the dude was in the car wash, but this is proof of a Mighty Dyckerson presence in the Midwest. In case you can't read it, that Illinois license plate reads 'DCKRSN 8', the 8 I assume being a reference to boobies.

Anyway, tune in again next year! Now back to our regularly scheduled blog.

Time In Illinois :: Day Six

This day wasn't interesting or fun in anyway.

The usual lunch with my mom went fine. We had our final horseshoe from a place called 'Grubbers.' You see, restaurants in central Illinois have names like Grubbers and such. It was pretty good. Mom had this wild idea to have onions put into it. I love onions, so I went along with it and it was quite tasty!

Well, that part of the day was fun.

Jason and I went to a late lunch (Jason had lunch, I had fried mushrooms...) at Starship Billiards. I tried to see if Jason had the gas money to drive to Mattoon, and he didn't. It sucked, as we both wanted to go see Chris, regardless of the drama, but a quick check of WaMu.com told me that I was already $100 short for rent! Lucky for me WaMu allows me to overdraft to a certain extent.

Anyway, Jason and I shared some laughs remembering the times with Chris, and we talked about Chronicles, reciting some of the more 'memorable' lines, like 'I don't know, I found it in your wife' and the hermaphroditic love story that the show holds a very strict copyright over. Afterwards we complained that no place in Springfield has a pinball machine anymore.

After I dropped Jason off, I went back to my mom's and played Superpower II on my laptop for a few hours. It's an electronic version of the board game Risk, more or less, where you control a country and need to maintain the political, military and economical aspects of the game.

I played as China. I figure, China's got the largest military in the world, so my plans of global domination would be easy.

Wrong.

The entire world ganged up on my ass over my military adventure into Mongolia and dropped my 900,000 infantry down to 80,000 in a little over two years. China was fragmented up into four areas, each controlled by an occupying army. I had seven provinces left, and none of them actually touched, so I couldn't move troops to them to secure them.

It was about that time I shut down and drove back into town to see Troy and Nancy (and their lovable, murderous German Shepard 'Rikka'), and have coffee with Jerry one last time.

I got home about 2:00 AM and watched some anime while pondering what I could have done to make things a litte better for everyone. I finally fell asleep about four, realizing that today was my last full day here for probably another year.

Did I waste my time here? I didn’t get to see everyone I wanted (Chris, the Channel 20 gang...), and I didn’t get to do all I wanted, but I had a good time. It’s nice being with family. I really do miss my family while I’m out in Vegas, probably because growing up I didn’t have a lot of friends. All I had was my family.

At any rate, I miss my house and my little car that gets 123331278398 miles to the gallon, and while I will miss here, I am looking forward to getting back home.

After all, what’s the point in looking backwards?

Time In Illinois :: Day Five

My very good friend Rob (RIP Rob...) gave me some advice when I was in high school. It went along the lines of 'Never be anyone but yourself. Don't let anyone make you someone else. You are you; don't try to be someone else. If someone is trying to make you someone else, they are not helping you, but hurting you.'

I wish more people would follow that advice.

I'm really ticked off. Wednesday I was supposed to drive to Mattoon to see my good friend, Chris. But, thanks to my big mouth (apparently) I upset his keeper. To alleviate the drama in his life (and to make sure that I returned to Vegas with enough money to pay the bills) I've decided not to go.

It makes me upset. I really love that guy (he was like a brother to me, seeing as my real brother stole from me and ruined our relationship). Chris was my best friend. I would have done ANYTHING for him, including but not limited to killing people! We had our issues, mostly because of my irresponsibility from when I was living in Minnesota and drinking too much, but I was quickly out growing that. Things (our relationship) changed when he got married though. His wife was so afraid that I would try and bust up their marriage (which, to be honest IMHO wouldn't be a bad thing - but I digress) that she wouldn't allow him to talk to me or Jason.

I thought things were straight. She and Jason had made peace. She and I talked about the past, and I thought I had made it clear that I have no intention of doing anything like that. I thought that it was obvious that I only wanted to have my friend back, but apparently I was wrong.

Over reaction to my previous post caused drama. I'm not in the process of making peoples lives any more difficult than they are, so I will not get involved in their lives. If someday Chris wants to talk with me and be my friend again, he knows my number. Until then, I'm not involved and I don't want to be involved, and I for certain don't want to discuss this any more.

And yes, I did think about what I am saying, but I am saying it anyway. The truth can be a real bitch sometimes.

Regardless, I went back out to my Mom's early for steaks and quietly sulked to myself while watching movies. Saw 'War of the Worlds' which was okay, but didn't have as much war in it as I think a movie with 'war' in the title should. Also watched the movie 'Sahara', which was interesting. Penelope Cruz is really goddamned hot.

Nothing else happened. There won't be any more movies as my laptop keeps crashing under the weight of Sony Vegas. It doesn't have the memory needed to be an editor. I've got the last one shot, so maybe I will edit it when I get home.

I have one more full day here, and I am hoping to enjoy it. Under the shadow of the issues from today, I don't know. But I will do my best, as I don't want to leave Springfield with a sour taste in my mouth.

E.

Time In Illinois :: Day Four

Things in Illinois just keep getting stranger...

My friend Chris called me, from Mattoon, and I was chatting with him for a few minutes before I even knew who he was! Anyway, Jason (my partner in crime and fellow television show type person) and I are going to go to Mattoon on Wednesday. That's like a fucking hour and a half drive from here, which I am sure will use up my gas, causing me to have to drop another 50$ into this Jeep. Sometimes I wish I'd have gotten a Yugo...

Anywhatsit, while I dread the long and painful drive from here to there, I know I will be kicking myself left and right when I get back to Vegas if I don't go see Chris. I haven't actually seen him in years. He was my best friend, till he got married.

The story is long and painful, but needless to say it was probably all my fault.

Anyway, we'll be driving down there on Wednesday.

I did manage to actually visit Jason today while he was working. He's one of the kingpins down at the local Toys 'R' Us. Laugh all you want, but I'd bet he's making more than I am.

We chatted a bit about the show, and I am sure we will chat some more as the Central Illinois farmland passes us by on Wednesday.

The rest of the day went pretty uneventful. I'm working on getting my Mom's tavern hooked up with wireless internet. She was nice enough to buy me some new luggage, as the stuff I have belonged to my Great Grandmother. Was nice luggage back in the 50's, but now, not so much.

I met up with Jerry and had dinner with him and his family, including the little one who I have the privilege of being the namesake for. Plus our mutual friend Steve joined us as well! Good time at Maverick Family Steakhouse. My steak wasn't as rare as I usually take them (mooing is my preferred level of doneness...) but it was still a very good meal. Wish I had been hungrier; I could have really ripped apart the salad bar!

As for now, I am just sitting here trying to write my next video. I have some shots I have to get on my way out to my Mom's house, now that it's dark. This will probably be the last video, since they aren't really that interesting and seems like more work than it probably should be. Anyway, I'll probably have it done sometime tomorrow.

E.

Time In Illinois :: Day Three

It really bugs the hell out of me how little there is to do here in Springfield if you are in the 18-34 demo. If you don't golf there really is nothing! We have a couple of clubs, that haven't been shut down yet, but as far as I can tell, there's not a lot!

It didn't help that I was driving around looking for something to do on a Sunday. Instead of everything in town closing at 10PM, on Sunday it closes at six. I ended up spending the afternoon at Applebee's nursing a couple of Corona's and wondering how the hell I managed to survive here as long as I did.

I guess that if I hadn't had the taste of a real city in my mouth (Minneapolis/St. Paul and now Las Vegas), I wouldn't complain so much.

Then again, I enjoy complaining...

Like I said, most of the day was spent driving around looking for someplace to drink. Afterwards I rolled over to Troy and Nancy's for a free dinner. It's nice coming to visit! Everyone wants to give you stuff! Problem is, if my friends ever come to Vegas, I'll be obliged to buy them dinner!

No problem. $20 and a downtown casino buffet and all is solved.

Later that night I rolled out to the truck stop once again with Jerry. Drank coffee into the wee hours of the morning (wee hours for me now being 12AM... Fuck was I sleepy...). After that we took a stroll around Wal Mart. Wal Mart being the only thing open for 171878927911 miles.

I also took the time to watch a newscast from my former station, WICS. They have a fancy new set, pretty new graphics and a really fucking hot new weekend anchor, Ashley something or other... Wow...

Anyway...

I'd say I'm bored, but I'm really not. I'm enjoying just kind of hanging around. I think my problem is that I need to find stuff to do, when I don't. I just need to relax. I keep checking my email from work, to see if anything interesting awaits me. I found out today that something MAJOR has happened to my show, and I don't know if I am cool with it yet or not. The details haven't been made public, so I won't discuss it yet.

Of course what does it matter to me? I'm simply a disposable camera, the utility photog who really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, and I kind of like it that way.

Monday's coming, and I need to stop thinking about things and enjoy my last three and a half days away from Vegas. Hope to meet up with Jason and some of the people from WICS soon. Maybe I can talk them into bringing Ashley Whatshername with us?

Time In Illinois :: Day Two

Today was really the most important day in my vacation, my actual birthday. Thank you to all who sent me kind birthday wishes. And even thanks to those of you who sent me birthday death threats. It's just nice to be remembered.

My day started off pretty uneventful. I slept in as long as I could. I'm still stuck on my working clock, so I am dead tired come 7pm and wanting to get up in the middle of the night! I am sure I will be back to a daytime schedule just in time for me to return to Vegas and have to go back to working overnights.

My cell phone had been acting the fool lately, and here it was even worse (probably because there is only one cell phone tower atop the penis...) so I went to the local T-Mobile store. Turns out my phone was all FUBAR'd, so they said they would replace it.

The catch? They would send me a new phone. They couldn't just give me one from the store; they had to actually send me one in the mail.

They did give m a loaner phone, but it doesn't have a camera on it. Plus all my pictures that I had already taken are on a little tiny flash card that I didn't bring the adaptor for. Shame too because I had photographic evidence that not has Dyckerson been to Springfield, Illinois, but that he lives here! I guess we'll just have to wait till next Thursday to see that!

Moving on... I, my Mom, grandfather and Blaine (a/k/a Dad, but not real dad, but close enough) met up at my annual birthday eatery, Red Lobster. We had some drinks - a couple of fruity things (in more way than one) that got me buzzed. Then we ate. I, of course, went to town on the Ultimate Feast. About 17 pounds of food!

One of the best parts of adult birthdays is that people don't buy you gifts anymore. They give you ice cold cash. Best gift of all. Too bad I am going to have to use most of it to pay my rent when I get back!

After dinner, considering I was getting very tired (it was all of 9 PM!) we just got some Corona's, some movies and headed out to Mom's and watched a very funny movie - Fun with Dick & Jane. Starring Jim Carrey and the ever nummy Tea Leoni. Also most of 'Wedding Crashers' before the disc went fart-poop on us.

I'm looking for suggestions to the theme of the third video from Illinois! The next one will be a humorous look at Springfield's nightlife!

Seacrest, OUT!

Time in Illinois :: Day One

Day One was a pretty good day!

First, the greatest news of all, I located my MP3 player. What was, at first, a dark storm cloud on my time away from hell turned out to be a shiny tornado!

Second, I am enjoying my fancy rental car, a 2006 Jeep Grand Cherokee Larado! Nice car and I got a great deal on it! Thanks Enterprise e-mail specials! That and the fact that Enterprise NEVER has the car you reserved, so they always give you the next one up! Pretty dang sweet!

I hung out with Jerry most of the late night - Thursday into Friday - kind of like nothing had changed. Wandered into Star 66 Truck Stop and drank coffee to all hours of the morning. I then drove the 13728979827147931278932 miles out to my mom's house settled firmly in the center of BFE. The next morning (I count Thursday night and all day Friday as day one...) I got up late and met up with my mom for lunch at a nice Irish joint known as D'arcy's Pint. Had a Buffalo Chicken Horseshoe!

What's a horseshoe? I'll explain later. But I've had three so far, hopefully will have more soon!

Friday I met up with my married friends, Troy and Nancy. We rolled out to Star 66 (it's honestly the only place that serves food after 10 pm!) and had dinner.

Most of the day, though, was spent driving around and checking out the town. Took a look at some of the storm damage, which while it's being repaired, is still present. I also shot the first video, "A History of Erin; What's Springfield?" I don't plan on doing one every day, but I will do at least two more before I leave.

Anyway, here's the first. I hope you enjoy!

Alive!

The distant relatives of the Wright Brothers are off the hook. For now... They have the flight back to worry about, though!

Everything went smoother than expected. No issues checking in, no additional security screenings, flight was on time and relatively smooth... Makes me really worried about the return trip!

One thing of interest, the pilot, over the intercom, didn't seem to know exactly where we were going... Some of us passengers were actually a little worried we were going to end up in Colorado Springs. However we did manage to land at Bellville Airport, which apparently shares a common runway and taxiway with Scott Air Force Base.

Plus, as we were landing, we did what felt like a 270 degree turn, AS we were landing. Plus our jet took the WHOLE runway to come to a stop. Good thing it wasn't snowing!

The most exciting part of the flight was as we were pushing back from the gate at McCarran, a fire truck came racing up to a second Allegiant jet. Soon after several people in those silver, fire-proof outfits came racing in. They popped the side off an engine as another fire truck, from a distance, aimed its foam hose at the engine.

The people sitting next to me laughed and said 'Glad that's not our plane!'

The flight back won't be as nice as I was unable to get exit row seating (which, of course gives you an extra foot of leg room. Well worth the extra work in case of emergency, considering mostly likely in a crash we'd all die instantly anyway.).

A couple of notes, it didn't all go perfectly. I could not find my MP3 player, which pisses me off to no end, I forgot all my 'personal hygiene' stuff, so I had to spend 29 smackers at Walgreens, and I forgot I don't have Photoshop installed on this computer, so I don't know if I will be posting any pictures till I get back.

I still plan on doing video though! I should have the first one done late tonight, so check tomorrow!

Off I Go!

Well, actually in a couple of hours. I probably won't post tonight, and you can expect new posts from Illinois to arrive in the evening!

I hope you enjoy! And if you don't, why are you even here?

FYI, if I die in a horrible plane crash, I demand that everyone post one nice comment about me. Then I would kindly request you avenge me and destroy any decendents of the Wright Brothers.

Thanks!

((And for the record, the S is silent in ILLINOIS, not SPRINGFIELD.))

4/20........

CLICK TO PLAY - Advisory, explicit lyrics...

Cannabis sativa
Oh, in the heart of L.A. known as The Chronic
Not to be confused with the bionic
Even though it does cost 6 million dollars maaaan, understand?
Haha, now we workin' with some new, improved shit on this track
Never the less, not no stress
Sucka ass niggas!
So now we gonna move on and, light a big fat one up for the world
And hit thisss, once or twice
And you'll be twice as nice, get it?
This is the chronic, ahahahaha
(Light that motherfucker up then nigga!)

[Hook:]
Make my blunt the chronic
I wants to get fucked up
Make my shit the chronic
I gots to fire it up
I want the bomb, I want the chronic
I gots to get fucked up
Make my blunt the chronic
Before I take it home

Damn, my last joint
Don't fuck with me fool!
Who got the dub sacks?
Whooooooo-eeeee
This shortin' a motherfucker man
(You can take it or leave it nigga)
But I need a spliff right now
(Roll this shit up then nigga)
And I don't vote no cess, brotha!
Its got to be the chronic, know what I mean nigga?
Yeah, that's the chronic, that's the chronic
That's the bomb, boy
Now get me motherfuckin' Zig-Zags and we straight
Or better yet, a motherfucking blunt
A Philly blunt that is

[Hook:2x]
Make my blunt the chronic
I wants to get fucked up
Make my shit the chronic
I gots to fire it up
I want the bomb, I want the chronic
I gots to get fucked up
Make my blunt the chronic
Before I take it home

Goddamn, I'm fucked up! (Yeah I'm fucked up too, damn)
That shit ain't no joke (No shit!)
Shit, now I don't want no more, I wanna sit!
Just leave me alone
Just let me, just chill out and listen to this shit
I'm highhh, that's fucked up!

(Done while hook is playing:)
What they put in this weed
That's why they call this shit chronic
Mmm, damn, damn!
Shit, fucked up! fucked up!
Really, really though
Naw I cool as a motherfucker
That shit, that shits, that shits craaaazy!
I'm highhhh, damn
Wooo I'm gonna fuck some shit up now
(You can come and fuck me up)
Mmm Hmm, triple cheeseburger, some fries and
Mothafuckin' couple sodas and shit, and
Hot apple turnover and all dat old shit nigga
Wooo I'm gonna get my munch onnn!!!
That blunt smell good as a motherfucker too
I don't wanna hit no more of dat old shit
That shits not to be fucked with, not to be fucked with
I'm highhhh
Ooh nigga you can pass that to somebody else
Nigga I'm through for the night, really though nigga
Let's go get some foooood
Let's get up out this motherfucker
Ahh, nigga don't be tryin to pass me that shit
Nigga I told you I'm cool!
Oh, madness
(Ha I got another dub sack nigga hahaha)

Knock Knock...

Why when the Las Vegas Police ask you to come outside, you probably should...

One Year Later... (Almost)

It's almost that time for me again. April 22nd is my birthday. As I spoke about last year, I consider my birthday to be the actual start of a new year, since, really, it is.

January 1st I was 28 years, 8 months and 10 days old. On April 22nd I will be exactly 29 years.

Anyway, as I stated before I use my birthday to reflect on the previous year, my positives, my negatives, and everything in between. I also reflect on my life in general, as when better than a new year to make a major change?

Last year was the first year that I made my reflections public. In fact, I never even talked about that kind of stuff with my close family, much less a group of strangers who probably only log on because they misclicked something on Dyckerson's blog.

The problem with making that public is now you all will get to see what I did manage to follow though on, and what I failed on.

The list of failures this year heavily out weighs the successes. But, unlike years past, there were some actual successes! And that, I think, speaks volumes about how my character has developed since I once again took off on my own.

This year I will be writing my birthday post from the place of my birth. No, not between my moms legs in a Springfield hospital, but just from Springfield, Illinois... Probably Panara Bread.

I've got a week to look over my list and think about what I need to accomplish in year 29. I do need to make a point of adding 'see more (real) girls naked' to my list though.

Alone Again!

Things are finally starting to get back to normal. As of Thursday, I am back to my lonesome, cruising for spot news again. Even though I am occasionally sent to stand on the side of the freeway, dodging cars and shooting an accident where no one was injured, it's nice to (mostly) have the freedom again to go where I want, check out what I want, and shoot what I want.

I always need to use the disclaimer that I don't dislike working with a reporter. In fact I kind of miss working with Kyla. (I said kind of because she didn't like it when I took my pants off between hits, nor the noises my butt makes – even though I thought I was being entertaining...) But I’m not a 'people person'. Just ask Kyla. I think once she wanted to stab me because I wouldn't stop bitching about stuff, and another times she wanted to bludgeon me because I got a little snippy because they were pushing me to edit and send two fucking SOTS and a VO somehow between 4:45 and 5:00. All this while STILL setting up the live.

Anyway, now that I am on my own again, they don't have to worry as Rob, our EP, is the only person who will be on the receiving end of my tirades. And he seems like he can handle it. Kyla could too, in fact she yelled back at me, which - between us - made me cry when I got home. But I feel bad 'speaking loudly' towards her, since she's such a nice person.

What I do have to worry about are the fucking traffic hits. I'm torn when it comes to traffic hits. I used to like them, but I also liked to used to do live shots. Back at WICS I was always begging the 10PM producer to make the reporter go live.

Now I pray for an asteroid that somehow manages to shatter into 6 pieces and take out all six live trucks, without hurting or damaging anything else.

But then, of course, I'd have to run cable out into the parking lot and do a live about the fucking asteroid...

Anyway, I like traffic hits because at the most, four times per hour, I have to get out of the truck and jiggle the camera. Of course if I am being lazy I just leave it static, and you usually wouldn't notice. Plus now that we have a desk person at three AM, I don't need to totally listen to the scanner while on a traffic live.

Thursday I was on a traffic live, reading my Azumanga Diaho manga and listening to my Sansa MP3 player in one ear and the IFB in the other. Good times!

Anyway, while I will miss aspects of having a reporter, I'm happy that things are back to the way they were. Soon as I return from vacation I go back to my happy little weekends, then back to cruising the mean streets of Las Vegas all alone...

Then again, in television news, you're never alone...

Profiles of Courage! (??)

Coming soon to otakuphotog, Profiles of Courage... A video blog profiling the others who comb the mean streets of Las Vegas in search for news, or a better place to sleep where the homeless people won't bother you.

Sol Binkier: KTNV photographer for over a year, Sol is our token minority that way us crackers can feel better about ourselves and tell people that 'we know a Hispanic dude!'

Just kidding. Sol's a phojo with many years of experience! Find out more about him soon!




Peter Dawson: KVVU photographer for over a year. It's not the picture, Peter is actually blurry. It's a defense mechanism, as his FOX NEWS jacket is a magnet for all of the losers who roam the streets, smoking pre-used cigarettes and asking if anyone has a dollar that they can 'borrow'.

The Cheeseburger Bandit better watch out when Peter's on the job! Soon, we'll give you more Peter than you can handle!


John Farrell: KVBC photographer for over seven year, John was the first war correspondent back in Arabia during the Crusades. John knows every cop in the Las Vegas valley and can get any woman to show him her boobs. Women's boobs are drawn to John, even some fat fuckers man boobs! In fact, John is known to be seen with three boobs every night at Starbucks.

Seriously, John's the guy we all look up to, even though he's a midget. His profile is coming soon!

Profiles of Courage begins in May!

The World's Most Boring Blog...

...Now presents, the world's most boring blog video!

Here is Erin, driving to work. (TRT 7:40 - Not bad for a 20 minute drive!)

otakuphotog is not responsible for suicide induced by watching this video, nor are we liable for the 7 and a half minutes of your life you will waste (or wasted) watching it.

Google Officially Rules...

Google Maps :: ON FRICKIN' MARS!

Pretty neat if your a nerd like myself, or if you just want to look at Mars!

I Love Parodies

Back when I was a Napster user I really didn't use it for downloading bootleg copies of music (that's my story and I'm sticking with it). I actually spent a lot of time hunting down instrumentals and parodies.

I am a huge fan of parodies. I love to try and write them, the most famous (among my small circle of friends) was my Regulators parody with chronicles the life of a night time McDonald's worker.

Anyway, since I want to make otakuphotog more multimedia (being as that is part of my life) I've decided to share some music parodies with you!

If the flash player doesn't work, just download the song.

otakuphotog's FUNKDAFIED music player will play you samples of the four parodies I have chosen as my favorite. Click the right arrow to advance to the next song if you want. The square will stop the player. It might take a few moments to load, especially if you're on a slow connection.

Also, all of these songs are a little dated. Right click and download if you want the full size. If you happen to be the copyright holder to these songs, and don't want them distributed, let me know.

Song #1 - Mo' Booty, Mo' Problems :: Parody of Notorious BIG's song 'Mo' Money, Mo' Problems. Old school Bill Clinton parody. Who wouldn't think he was a great president?

Song #2 - Living In Minnesota :: Parody of Livin' La Vida Loca by Ricky Martin. It's funny because it's true.

Song #3 - Star Trek Rhapsody :: Parody of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody. Shatner sound a likes are funny.

Song #4 - I'm Gonna Miss Napster :: Parody of Outkast's I'm Sorry Miss Jackson. Done by the every so talented morning show in Minneapolis, KDWB.

Get Flash, asshole!

The Worst Sound In The World...

I wanted to get this post done before the drugs I am on completely kick my ass... I apologize for typos.

Today marked another visit to my dentist, Dr. McGee. We're in the process of correcting 27 years of bad decision making.

Anyway, three of my four rear molars (remember, I've already had my wisdom teeth extracted) were damaged beyond repair (a side note, all of my front teeth are in pristine (albeit stained from smoking) condition). So Dr. McGee decided we would yank them before they became something that could cause an infection.

He warned me that they might break, as they were brittle.

And they did. The sound of a tooth breaking in half is the most gut wrenching sound ever. And I had to hear it over and over and over because for some reason my jaw bone is EXTRA durable and strong and refused to let go of the teeth. So Dr. McGee had to basically hammer down those teeth to pieces the lovely blonde dental assistant could vacuum up.

Anyway, now he's got me on Oxycodone. The name sounded familiar, then I remembered. It's the same shit the doctors gave me after my wisdom teeth were cut out. I remembered what that stuff did to me, and promptly called into work.

The pain has now dissipated, so I expect to fall face first on the floor any minute now. So I will bid you, adu.

And kids, take care of your teeth! $3,000 worth (number is a little high because I will reach my insurance max out before everything is complete) of dental work is NOT fun!

Well it is a little because the shit they use to numb your face makes you talk like Sylvester Stallone...

Everything is Set!

I have my plane tickets bought, and my rental car confirmed (with Enterprise this time, not those fuck-sticks Budget) and my vacation time secured. Come April 20th I am out of here to spend 7 fun filled days in Illinois!

I plan on totally nerding out and videoblogging while I am there! We'll see how it goes!

((Place Bets :: Erin's Vacation Will Be Ruined))
10-1 Erin is on no fly-list.
25-1 Erin oversleeps, misses flight.
100-1 Taxi to Airport explodes, not killing Erin, but making him late and miss his flight.
2,000-1 Aircraft crashes, killing no one but Erin.
5,000-1 Erin bought ticket to Springfield, Washington.
10,000-1 Tornado picks up rental car and squashes Erin with it.

Condolences...

I would like to give my condolences to the friends and family of Officer Brenda Thompson (Springfield Police Department). She died Tuesday after a series of medical complications.

Very rarely do I hear myself gasp when I read the news, even when it is about someone dying, but Brenda was a great officer and I had worked with her fairly often in my 2 years with WICS and even when I was at FOX 55.

Most recently (to the best of my knowledge) she had been the Crimestoppers spokesperson (and coordinator) for Sangamon and Menard Counties. The last time I saw her was probably two years ago, but she seemed to be in great health and spunky as could be.

Goes to show you that you need to live life to the fullest, because you never know how much longer you've got.

Peace be with you, Brenda, and Godspeed.

Erin

405 by Fireball?

For the life of me I will never understand why people have to make such a big commotion about doing themselves in.

Last night a woman calls police and tells them that her boyfriend, who she has a protective order against, is threatening to kill himself. METRO arrives and finds that the dude has doused his entire apartment - himself included - with gasoline. Not only that, when the police arrive he comes out and fires off some BB rounds at the police, in what seemed like an obvious attempt of suicide by cop.

I tried to ignore the story as long as I could. I didn't want anything to do with a suicide, but the damned thing turned into a standoff at around 1 am with evacuations, so Kyla and I had to go.

We arrived at Pennwood and Arville in Las Vegas' Bolden Area which is no stranger to these type of shenanigans. Most of the evacuees don't speak English and a majority of them had already been ushered away from media by the police. There was this one guy we interviewed who was rushed out in his underpants, barefoot. Apparently the police didn't think there was time for him to at least gather some shoes.

Anyway all the stations were there and we spent the entire night in the parking lot of the 7/11 kitty-corner from the apartments. At just after 4:00, the SWAT team sets off some concussion grenades. They gave us a warning, and I rolled for 10 minutes and nothing happened. Frustrated I shut off my camera and BOOOOOOOM!

Bastards!

The grenades worked though and Mr. Gas Soaked started talking with SWAT and decided to give himself up just before the beginning of the 5:00 newscast. So we spent the next four hits with no scene behind us. Very boring.

Stand off's are the most boring news event in the world. What's even worse is that you never know when something is going to happen. Occasionally, if you are paying attention to the scanners, you can listen to the SWAT channel and figure out when they are about to blow a door down and make sure you are rolling, but usually SWAT likes to make sure the media is no less than 10 miles away from anything...

Kyla thinks I am too bitter. She is probably right. But I think that if our story is buried behind both traffic and news that Saddam Hussein, in his dog and pony show trial has had more charges levied against him, I have the right to be bitter! Whatever happened to local first?

Alas I have made my opinion known, and as I figured, no one cares. I just need to keep my chin up because I will be on vacation in 15 days and I can't wait. Mostly because I will be back in the Midwest enjoying a horseshoe from all the remaining restaurants in Springfield. YAY!

Robots & Angry Mexicans...

Sometimes Friday's just don't get there fast enough, and when they do, they don't seem to go as smoothly as you would hope a Friday would.

The day started out simple enough. Kyla and I were assigned to go to UNLV to do lives promoting the regional for a NASA endorsed (or sponsored maybe?) competition where high school kids built robots to either shoot balls through a hole, like basketball, or dump balls into a goal (described as like hockey, but more like soccer without a goalie).

At face value, it seemed like a boring event, but it really wasn't. Although I really was hoping that they were the kind of robots that chop the crap out of each other, but alas I was content with friendly ball shooting robots.

Kyla and I arrived super early because it was a long cable run. The security guard told me '200 feet'. I of course called bullshit when my 200 foot cable ran out and I wasn't even half way there, but no matter. It was a pretty straight pull, which makes shit easier and two cables later I was deep inside the COX Pavilion (that sounds more dirty than it should).

These really are my favorite kind of live shots and honestly, I would give up the life of a crime scene photo pimp if I knew for a fact that I would be able to do these lives where I get to move around; where there is action happening on a daily basis. I like lives where I don't need to use my tripod - where I get to run along side a robot and have it shoot Nerf balls at me at what seemed like a dangerous speed!

But, alas, it will never happen. I am actually surprised we were allowed to do that one even, since whenever Justin and I would pitch a 'less than serious' live it was shot down like an Iraqi fighter jet over Cleveland.

"We're a hard news station, dag nabit!" Bleah.

We had, in total 12 freakin' hits in 2 and a half hours. The job actually seemed like real work, for once! But it was a lot of fun and both Kyla and I had a blast.

Well, I am assuming that the assignment desk got word that we were enjoying ourselves because seconds after our last hit my Nextel beeps.

"We need you guys to break down! The kids walked out again!"

I groaned. "Otay, but I have about 1,200 feet of cable to reel in, so it will be a while."

I reeled in what was probably closer to 400 feet, but who's counting? If the desk is allowed to make something sound more drastic than it actually is, why can't I? Besides, it seemed like a 1,200 foot walk...

Eventually we are sent to city hall in a hurry. We arrive before the protesters (again, students who walked out of area high schools and middle school to protest the immigration reform bills) and chill out at the bus stop, waiting for them to arrive.

Well, while there we find TWO other crews. Kyla and I shrug and continue to wait for the protesters. They arrive and we interview a few. One actually had something useful to say. Others?

First, again, all waving Mexican flags. Then there was a group who walked by screaming 'FUCK BUSH' and holding up a sign saying as much. I have to assume that they are part of a pro-shaving lobby since they cannot be talking about George W. Bush - you know, since he's on their side and wants to grant amnesty for all illegals. (Oops, I mean give them 'guest worker' status...)

Another group thought the house bill was legislation approving genocide and authorization for a military incursion into Mexico.

There was another rally on Saturday, planned by responsible kids who didn't want to skip school and actually want an education. The people at THIS rally waved Mexican flags, but they did it along side of American flags. Did it draw the crowd of thousand the school day protests did?

Yeah right.

Then the media, who in the last three days I am becoming more embarrassed to admit I am apart of, shows a counter rally.

A group calling themselves the White People's Party.

Yeah, that's right, mini KKK. This is the group the media decided was the mouth piece for all those opposed to illegal immigration. Because everyone knows that if you are against illegal immigration, you're in favor of hanging Mexicans, blacks and Jews. (Note the sarcasm).

I call this the 'worst example television clause'. Here is how WETC works.

Watch coverage of tornados in the south. Now there are MILLIONS of southerners who are intelligent, have all their teeth, are not inbred, ect... Yet the only one who gets on TV is the stereotypical red neck. Aaron McGruder does a great job of illustrating black WETC in his cartoon 'The Boondocks' on Adult Swim.

Back to the story, Kyla and I handed our tape off to Edward and his photog and got the hell out of downtown. There was rumor of another walk out today, but we didn’t do anything on it. Which I think is good, because if we keep covering these things, it's just going to encourage more and more of it.

Again, I am happy that these kids (even the ignorant ones) are taking an interest in the world around them, but seriously - eventually civil disobedience just becomes acting stupid.

Rut-Roh!

Hrm, according to MapStats I received a visit from someone at The Hague! I hope that I am not being investigated for war crimes because of my genocide from a week ago!

Thank goodness America won't extradite me! Unless of course I've also picked up enemy combatant status...

This could get rough...

Well Obviously...

:) April Fools!

I did manage to fool a couple of people, though! I should have known that otakuphotog readers were far to smart to fall for such a transparent ruse!

I'll get you guys next year! :)

ewink

Only In Vegas!

The amazing has happened...

Last night I was out paryting, as I do occassionally when I have some spare money. Nuts would have it, while drinking I stumbled across one of my old female friends (Michelle) from Minnesota.

Long story short, in Vegas you can get married on a whim, and, well, we did!!!

I'll post the pictures tomorrow, cause for now I am exhausted. Plus there's no time for blogging when you do what newly married couples do! :)